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Tag: wallscrolls

Davido-kun LOVES Japan

by on November 10th, 2013 at 7:33 pm, under Video

He just can’t get enough.

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New Waifu Feminism

by on December 14th, 2012 at 1:49 am, under Image

The real victims of the patriarchy

The real victims of the patriarchy

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It’s OK, DAD ROSS is Here!

by on November 29th, 2012 at 9:42 pm, under Text, Video

http://blip.tv/paradiseandfaries/fanservice-fiesta-is-under-attack-by-trolls-and-covention-announcements-6455399

SON ROSS, are you there? It’s me, the DAD ROSS. You don’t have to worry anymore, son, I took care of it. I kicked the door in to that weak baby’s house with my steel-toed boots and tactical NVGs equipped. He started going off in his dumb jock voice, saying shit like “Get out” and “Who are you?” I gave him the ol’ ROSS family zing and said, “Me? I’m a rock. And a rolling stone gathers no ROSS.” Then I let him have it with my Remington 870, double tap right to his anime-hating core.

I hope you can read this, SON ROSS. He had one of those message things that go out when you type them like on America Online. I had to delete some of his junk though, some more crap about the ROSS. Something about a show called Cat Planet Cuties and you spending  25% of a review on a musical sequence that plays out entirely in Japanese with no subtitles, removing any possible emotional context you were trying to get across. Is that a thing you watch? The cute cat planners? How do I send this message? Is it this publish button?

Love,

DAD ROSS

Semper fi

These things we do so that others may live

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Fanservice Fiesta: A Carnival of Sad

by on November 18th, 2012 at 11:44 pm, under Text, Video

Where are you right now? At home? On a laptop at school? Maybe even at work? What are you doing right now? I know you’re reading this article, but what are you doing? Are you on track to advance in your career? Are you working towards graduating high school or college? Both? I know I can tell you what you’re not doing. You’re not sitting on your twin-sized anime throne, making lists of your favorite anime boobies. There’s already someone doing that. His name is Ross Faries.

Ross with favorite Sonic hoodie. Not pictured: self-awareness

Ross, a graduate of the Drunk Elmer Fudd School of Acting, is one of the hundreds of nerds trying to waddle their greasy forms into the stagnant internet reviewer world. The kind of people that think if they scream about Dino Crisis 2 into their laptop webcam hard enough, they too can develop a fandom that will validate their lives and lifestyles. Ross has decided to throw his fedora into the risky world of Anime Reviewing and squeeze out a nice bit of butter-flavored fame all for himself. There’s a ton of assholes giving half-formed opinions on anime on YouTube already, so Ross had to mix things up a bit. He decided to focus entirely on the type of anime that gives him awkward nerd boners and hosts a show called Fanservice Fiesta on his blip.tv channel ParadiseandFaries.

A dumping ground for console reviews, Japanese only games re- discovered, pervy anime dissected, the Neo Geo Pocket Color exposed, and that’s just the beginning.

The show, or at least the basic form of it, has only existed for little more than a year so far. Let’s take a look at one of his special episodes, Fanservice Fiesta Special: Top 5 Anime Boobies.

http://blip.tv/paradiseandfaries/fanservice-fiesta-special-top-5-anime-boobies-6375993

Right off the bat we’re greeted with a montage of huge-chested anime girls squirming around and being molested. Once your family and friends suddenly feel a profoundly strong sense of shame for you, Ross presents himself and prefaces his list with this:

 Unfortunately for me, being a fairly unattractive white male – and a nerd – I unfortunately have limited access to the real thing.

Ross not only details which cartoon girl designed to pander to awkward virgin nerds excites him the best, but also rates them on how much the anime itself focuses on their chests. Highlights include his number two pick, a catgirl character from some anime named Cat Planet Cuties, whom he refers to as “a sexy little pussy,” his distaste for lemon-shaped anime breasts, and choosing his number one on which breasts were drawn the most realistically (according to his anatomy textbooks).

Considering how objectively terrible his anime reviews are in both content and direction, it’s amazing how well he’s managed to keep a low profile online. He doesn’t seem to have much of an online presence at all beyond his anime videos and forum accounts on all the regular inept nerd hangouts (That Guy With the Glasses, ScrewAttack, etc.). I’m kind of amazed by this, since anime nerds are usually more than happy to barf out all the minor details about how exhausting it is trying to be special and live just like their animes. So kudos to you, Ross, for having some kind of idea of privacy. I’m looking forward to your Top Ten list of sexy anime toddlers.

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Anime Room: Anime Shrine High Priest

by on January 6th, 2012 at 12:51 am, under Video

YOUR WRONG LOL

No other words could’ve set a better tone for this video.

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YEEHAW

by on July 1st, 2011 at 8:33 pm, under Image

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GokuFievel Update for 6 May 2011

by on May 6th, 2011 at 2:00 pm, under Image, Video

It’s been a long time since The Anime Reality has been active, but fear not! Our loyal subjects have not been resting, GokuFievel chief among them.  Let’s see what he’s been up to this week!

First, GF splices together Japan tsunami footage with footage of him moping about for 6 minutes, because now his trip to glorious nippon is cancelled.  Following this is another 12 minutes of mindless yammering and complaining.

(continue reading…)

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The Many Faces of Shame

by on July 12th, 2010 at 10:11 pm, under Image

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My Anime Room

by on May 19th, 2010 at 8:36 pm, under Video

I will not rest until every square inch of my room is covered in anime.

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Anime Shrine: Adam

by on October 9th, 2009 at 2:04 am, under Image, Text

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Name: Adam / Shedranes(nick)
Age: 22
How many years you have been an otaku?: I’ve been an Otaku for about 3 years actively, although my friends got me into anime when I was about twelve. Didn’t start collecting more seriously untill later, whatwith getting a job and all.
Nationality: Swedish
Outline of your collection: I’m going to go with round numbers here.
Manga is somewhere from 400 volumes and up.
Anime: around 250 DVD’s and up.
Figures: 31
How much your collection cost: I Have absolutely no idea. If I were to make an approx I would say something like…
Manga: about 400 vols x 100 SEK = 40 000 SEK
DVD’s: about 250 Anime DVD’s x 150 SEK = 37 500
Figures: anywhere between 10 00 – 20 000 SEK really.
Posters etc: Maybe 1-2000 SEK
Total: Somewhere around 100 000 Swedish crowns, that’s about 13 340 USD or
1,264,750 Yen. Keep in mind that all this has accumulated over quite a long time.

Click through for his collection.
(continue reading…)

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