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Tag: Twitter

Awfully Autistic Apptendo

by on April 28th, 2013 at 8:36 pm, under Image, Text

You know, there’s an amazing amount of people out there that will read our site and come away thinking we’re an anime fan blog. I have no idea how you can get that impression if you read anything beyond the title. Do they think we’re showcasing our own stuff on this website? Do they think we own several mansions worth of anime decorated rooms? Do they think we’re also so far down the autistic spectrum that we’re infrared masses of manga, grease, and broken dreams? Somehow, people do. People like Apptendo.

The beginning

The beginning

Apptendo just seemed a little bit too good to be true. Why would someone like this contact a site that makes fun of people just like them? Just look at his self intro on his twitter and his tumblr:

That about sums it up

That about sums it up

Hello, world.

Hello, world.

This is like one of those fake OKCupid profiles featuring some fat sweaty nerd wearing a fedora talking about how he loves guns and ten year olds. Still, I had to find out if he was legit or not and ended up taking a look at his Facebook and Reddit accounts.

A man of varied interests

A man of varied interests

Repressed memories

Repressed memories

Hentai High

Hentai High

Thanks for sharing

Thanks for sharing

Somehow, the nearly vestigial sense of self-awareness Apptendo has held onto kept him from uploading his own picture to the internet. From taking a look at his interests and posts though, I think I can take a guess at what he’s like. Apptendo is the guy in your English class with long hair that looks like shit because he never takes care of it. He’s the guy that’s constantly raising his hand to ask questions, but only ends up rambling on whatever stupid shit he thinks is important. He’s incredibly skinny, which he confuses for being fit because his definition of being in shape is just “not fat.” He only wears video game t-shirts, anime t-shirts, and shirts with the names of obscure martial art styles on them. He thinks any girl that’s talking to him is hitting on him. His favorite anime is all of them. He probably had one or two good friends in high school, but stopped contacting them because it was cutting into his anime time. He reads TVTropes. He is TVTropes. He is you when you were nine years old and wanted to be a Power Ranger so fucking bad, but instead of being a Power Ranger, it’s having sex with big titted preteens.

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Twitter Recap – Week of 10/14/12

by on October 20th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

if i had a girlfriend and she told me she dont like manga/anime movies, oh lawd
@HOLIDAAE
Pinky&TheBrain
I need a girlfriend instead of watching anime all day wishing I had one .-.
@Steezy_Steven
Steezy Steve

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Twitter Recap – Week of 10/7/12

by on October 13th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

My dad sent me a photo of a room full of guys hugging anime girl body pillows. Is this how my and my bf rooms look like, he asks.
@MTSayuRin
MTSayuRin
I actually hate my brother sooo muchhh! He hasn't got a job or a girlfriend or a social life! All he does is sit at home watching anime crap
@ChrisMackreth
Chris.S.Mackreth

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Twitter Recap – Week of 9/30/12

by on October 6th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

Man. The anime scenarios in my mind in which I selflessly sacrifice myself... Reality's a bitch...
Anime cartoon make the Asians seem like they have some bomb ass body, but in reality they skin a'f
I wish iwas an anime so icould be th girlfriend to mosta these characters #ifonly
I finish watching a genuinely awesome anime and all of a sudden reality kicks in and life sucks.
17 yr olds in Anime. Nice face. Six pack abs. Tall. Strong. Smart. Big boobs. Big butt. Wth. Reality is so far different.
I fckn hate Asian bitches that look like lesbian anime characters #pissoff
when people annoy me and wont leave me alone i tell them iam going to marry sasuke a anime character and have halfhumancartoonbabies lol
@HEHmonkeyface
XD FrANK3INSt3IN
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Twitter Recap – Week of 9/23/12

by on September 29th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

Fucked uped world i live in. Reality stinks real bad. I wanna live in the anime world!!!
@True_Display
アニメオタク
I want an anime chick as a girlfriend. Bento boxes for work lunch. Ahhhhh. :)
@jpyper
John Pyper

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Twitter Recap – Week of 9/9/12

by on September 15th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

Never forget, just like I never forget to post the Twitter Recap on time.

Perfect girlfriend only exist in anime :((
@acboyatz
ItzmeAC ♛
Please stop talking to me. I don't like you and being in Anime club does not make us friends. You can stop trying to look down my jacket now
@celloeuse
Audrey Nelepovitz
i can simply fall in love in anime but not in reality.
@elecccccc
ELECTTRA
T____T i think i got new 'girlfriend' again. nevermind, is normal to have a new one whenever you watch a new anime right :P
@bird_chan48
愁い鳥_(╥﹏╥)
Is it just me or do all Asian people look like babies and anime characters
@brunatzz
Nick B
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Twitter Recap – Week of 9/2/12

by on September 8th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

Sigh . Reality sucks . Only if i really can go to anime world ;/
@MotherFlyyy
ZHARRNEHH
Reality is shit, I'll just stick to anime movies.
@Ch4zzabee
☯ Charles ☯
God please send me a sexy gamer nerdy anime watching pokemon loving girlfriend?
@itsKris94
☠EnemyGrenade☠™
Your little 'girlfriend' is a straight-up bitch. Fuck you and her. And with that, I'm gonna watch some anime. Goodnight.
@RealRobbieRob
Rob Williams
Why do guys think anime is hot? seriously, anime girls look like 10 year olds. ew. #PEDO
@MissKatieePrice
Katie Price
Anime profile pics are an easy way to let people know you will die alone
@HandsNation
Michael Hands
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Twitter Recap – Week of 8/26/12

by on September 1st, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

Not trying to be racist but why all of these anime have big eyes but the reality is they japanese look like they wont open it.
@NatashaKamil
TITA▲NIUM
If anime was reality so many people I know would be brutally murdered right now .
@Vyoroz
† Soroya †
Anime gives my troubled soul peace. It is my escape from reality
@ariennaminx
Judiel •애니메이션 인형•
No more sad tweets. Who needs a girlfriend when you've got anime?#Narutotime
@WillArtB
Will Billau
someone seriously just said "DO U KNOW WHO U LOOK LIKE" so I kinda rolled my eyes and said "WHO" they said "AN ANIME CHARACTER!" haha omg! 👱
@MileyCyrus
Miley Ray Cyrus
A nigga used to get the hardest time about anime and manga in middle school. All you could watch then was VH1 reality shows.
@laellesander
Chandler Bing
I'd rather spend time playing my PS3 and watching anime than putting up with some dumb bitch girlfriend.
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Twitter Recap – Week of 8/19/12

by on August 25th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

We were busy this week.

Staying up all night watching anime... I need a fucking girlfriend.
maybe all this anime is the reason i dnt have a girlfriend..#smh
@BittaSwit_TwisT
Malcolm Kiilu Jr
These Asians look like they all jumped out of an anime show.
@LightJuche
Noble Savage
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Twitter Recap – Week of 8/12/12

by on August 18th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

Sometimes I think the worst part about watching anime is having to face reality afterwards :/
@francehopper
Stephen J. Weber
why is it that there a more cute,nice girls in anime than reality? especially since anime girls are more friendly despite their appearance.
@whosthatpokewdf
Fuckface Fupa Magoo
These Japanese people sitting right by me look like anime characters... #Nolie #notracist
@kinnngaiwanska
Kinga Iwanska
watching one of my favorite anime shows, and my mum says i treat it like porn because i hide the screen from her and tend to watch alone. ew
@sulleypotter
sulleypotter
Everyone looks at celebrities & are like "omg i want to look like her" while I'm watching anime like "omg i want to look like yui hirasawa"
I don't like boys. I think I'll stay alone forever and just watch anime and play video games. :)
This old lady told me I look like an Anime cartoon character. #IFailedAtLife
@KimberlyLyna
Make Love Not War
#HowIMetMyBestfriend when I asked her about her first impression of me she said I look like a japanese bc of my slanted eyes *anime freak*
bitch you look like a anime stripper.
@vanilla_lush
sσмεтнιη sσ vιvι∂
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