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Tag: Tumblr

Awfully Autistic Apptendo

by on April 28th, 2013 at 8:36 pm, under Image, Text

You know, there’s an amazing amount of people out there that will read our site and come away thinking we’re an anime fan blog. I have no idea how you can get that impression if you read anything beyond the title. Do they think we’re showcasing our own stuff on this website? Do they think we own several mansions worth of anime decorated rooms? Do they think we’re also so far down the autistic spectrum that we’re infrared masses of manga, grease, and broken dreams? Somehow, people do. People like Apptendo.

The beginning

The beginning

Apptendo just seemed a little bit too good to be true. Why would someone like this contact a site that makes fun of people just like them? Just look at his self intro on his twitter and his tumblr:

That about sums it up

That about sums it up

Hello, world.

Hello, world.

This is like one of those fake OKCupid profiles featuring some fat sweaty nerd wearing a fedora talking about how he loves guns and ten year olds. Still, I had to find out if he was legit or not and ended up taking a look at his Facebook and Reddit accounts.

A man of varied interests

A man of varied interests

Repressed memories

Repressed memories

Hentai High

Hentai High

Thanks for sharing

Thanks for sharing

Somehow, the nearly vestigial sense of self-awareness Apptendo has held onto kept him from uploading his own picture to the internet. From taking a look at his interests and posts though, I think I can take a guess at what he’s like. Apptendo is the guy in your English class with long hair that looks like shit because he never takes care of it. He’s the guy that’s constantly raising his hand to ask questions, but only ends up rambling on whatever stupid shit he thinks is important. He’s incredibly skinny, which he confuses for being fit because his definition of being in shape is just “not fat.” He only wears video game t-shirts, anime t-shirts, and shirts with the names of obscure martial art styles on them. He thinks any girl that’s talking to him is hitting on him. His favorite anime is all of them. He probably had one or two good friends in high school, but stopped contacting them because it was cutting into his anime time. He reads TVTropes. He is TVTropes. He is you when you were nine years old and wanted to be a Power Ranger so fucking bad, but instead of being a Power Ranger, it’s having sex with big titted preteens.

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Eric Draven: Pedophile Chinese Kobold Wizard

by on June 5th, 2012 at 10:48 pm, under Text

This is how he wants the world to know him.

This is how he wants the world to know him.

Meet Eric Draven, or thedarkericdraven as he is known through most other websites. Eric Draven has taken his online handle from the main character of The Crow, and believes he is a reincarnated Chinese half-giant kobold warrior that had magic powers, a magic sword, and a “willing slave” that was reincarnated as one of his classmates named Stephanie. Unfortunately, he seems to have wiped his tumblr, so I could only grab parts from the cached version. He mainly used this tumblr to talk about how being “otherkin” was just like being transgendered, and obsessed over the idea of regaining his magical kobold powers. He also kept hope that his classmate, Stephanie, would regain her “previous life’s” memories and submit to him as a slave again.

Pedophilia on!

Pedophilia on!

Thanks

Thanks

Heh, see any other pedophiles around here?

Heh, see any other pedophiles around here?

Most of this information was produced when he was an active member of the TVTropes community. His frequent admissions to being an open pedophile and delusions of being a kobold finally led to his banning, especially after his defense of pedophilia-laden anime works like Kodomo no Jikan. He was given an offer to return to TVTropes under a different user name, but instead chose to join a TVTropes off-shoot site called It Just Bugs Me. It’s on these forums where he revealed he believes anime exists in its own dimension, like Toon Land in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? This delusion is also why he would frequently refer to himself as a hero and talked about personalities like they were fictional character traits.

Pedophilia, a character trait.

Pedophilia, a character trait.

Guys, just forget that I'm a pedophile! Geeze!

Guys, just forget that I'm a pedophile! Geeze!

Fuck this guy

Fuck this guy

Life is a JRPG

Life is a JRPG

TVTropes: Pedophile Haven

TVTropes: Pedophile Haven

I apologize for not being able to grab more of his past life fantasies. He holds onto the belief that he was a half-giant kobold magic swordsman that fought in the Second Sino-Japanese War. He claims he fought against the Japanese in support of the aristocracy, despite the fact that the legitimate Qing dynasty head at the time was literally a puppet ruler installed by the Japanese during the war. He seems pretty open about these delusions, so once they show up again I’ll be sure to grab them for a follow up! In the mean time, I’ll leave you in awe with a picture of the man himself.

My real form is a kobold samurai wizard

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