The Anime Reality RSS

Tag: sex

Awfully Autistic Apptendo

by on April 28th, 2013 at 8:36 pm, under Image, Text

You know, there’s an amazing amount of people out there that will read our site and come away thinking we’re an anime fan blog. I have no idea how you can get that impression if you read anything beyond the title. Do they think we’re showcasing our own stuff on this website? Do they think we own several mansions worth of anime decorated rooms? Do they think we’re also so far down the autistic spectrum that we’re infrared masses of manga, grease, and broken dreams? Somehow, people do. People like Apptendo.

The beginning

The beginning

Apptendo just seemed a little bit too good to be true. Why would someone like this contact a site that makes fun of people just like them? Just look at his self intro on his twitter and his tumblr:

That about sums it up

That about sums it up

Hello, world.

Hello, world.

This is like one of those fake OKCupid profiles featuring some fat sweaty nerd wearing a fedora talking about how he loves guns and ten year olds. Still, I had to find out if he was legit or not and ended up taking a look at his Facebook and Reddit accounts.

A man of varied interests

A man of varied interests

Repressed memories

Repressed memories

Hentai High

Hentai High

Thanks for sharing

Thanks for sharing

Somehow, the nearly vestigial sense of self-awareness Apptendo has held onto kept him from uploading his own picture to the internet. From taking a look at his interests and posts though, I think I can take a guess at what he’s like. Apptendo is the guy in your English class with long hair that looks like shit because he never takes care of it. He’s the guy that’s constantly raising his hand to ask questions, but only ends up rambling on whatever stupid shit he thinks is important. He’s incredibly skinny, which he confuses for being fit because his definition of being in shape is just “not fat.” He only wears video game t-shirts, anime t-shirts, and shirts with the names of obscure martial art styles on them. He thinks any girl that’s talking to him is hitting on him. His favorite anime is all of them. He probably had one or two good friends in high school, but stopped contacting them because it was cutting into his anime time. He reads TVTropes. He is TVTropes. He is you when you were nine years old and wanted to be a Power Ranger so fucking bad, but instead of being a Power Ranger, it’s having sex with big titted preteens.

email
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New Year, New Cons

by on February 15th, 2013 at 7:13 pm, under Image, Text

Everyone loves the start of a new year. It’s a chance to reassess your priorities and work on improving yourself physically and mentally. You can also just be a fat greasy animal and squeeze yourself into the local anime convention like an all-consuming cancer. Let’s take a look at what some of the upcoming cons are offering:

(continue reading…)

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Keep it in the Anime Family

by on September 14th, 2012 at 1:16 am, under Text

“If a society where dating your, brother/sister even cousins were ok, would you?” If you have siblings or any amount of self worth whatsoever, you probably said, “Hell naw, son. Why would you even ask dat shit?” That’s because the good folks over at MyAnimeList once pondered such a question. Let’s take a look at their answers.

The OP to get us started.

The OP to get us started.

I want to email this to all his family members.

I want to email this to all his family members.

KissXSis is an anime where high school aged twins try to seduce their step-brother. Also, it's ffffffffffffffffuckanime

KissXSis is an anime where high school aged twins try to seduce their step-brother. Also, it’s ffffffffffffffffuckanime

Why bother learning how to talk to girls when grandma is just as good?

Why bother learning how to talk to girls when grandma is just as good?

They have a reason to hate you now too.

They have a reason to hate you now too.

We're getting into some meta shit here

We’re getting into some meta shit here

Let's end on a high note.

Let’s end on a high note.

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One Man’s Message to the World

by on August 5th, 2012 at 3:56 pm, under Video

It actually took me more than one viewing to get though this video, because as soon as I heard, “Hello, I am Twilight Windwaker,” I closed it on reflex. Good thing I wasn’t forced to listen to his anime porn preferences in public, like his junior college classmates.

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THAD WEEK: Thad has sex with an anime pillow (NSFW!)

by on March 9th, 2012 at 8:47 pm, under Text, Video

Here it is. Probably the worst thing produced by the cumulative efforts of humanity: A video of pedophile and sexual deviant Thaddeus McMichael having sex with an anime pillow that depicts what I can only assume is his imaginary anime waifu Kotonoha Katsura.

CLICK HERE FOR THE HORROR

It goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway just to be sure) that this video is INCREDIBLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK and features full nudity and utterly creepy and disturbing behavior from Thad. Your eyes might be physically unscathed, but your psyche and soul will be damaged, possibly beyond repair. I apologize for this, but we do what we must here at The Anime Reality.

Also of note is his biographical quote on the Tumblr blog:

I love mai waifu Kotonoha and young underaged white girls.
An asian is fine too.

You jelly?

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A shining exemplar of the TV Tropes community

by on November 29th, 2011 at 12:05 am, under Video

This Chagen 46 fellow is so creepy that even some members of the creepy TV Tropes community found fit to ostracize him with this video celebrating some of his insanity.

Thanks to Ross for this.

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NSFW Anime Sex NSFW

by on September 21st, 2011 at 8:35 pm, under Image

PLEASE DON’T CLICK THIS LINK

Excuse me while I go puke the entire contents of my torso into the bathtub.

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The Day I Became A Man.

by on May 27th, 2011 at 6:00 am, under Image, Text

Today’s update is a tale of true love. No, not that neurotypical normie bullshit where a guy and a girl bump into each other in public, go out on a date, and star in some wacky romantic comedy.

I’m talking about the kind of love you can only feel when you stare into the still, unblinking gaze of your loving waifu, the sultry under-aged Rinko-chan.

Folks, it is no secret that I love mai waifu Rinko as if she was my one and only waifu. However, despite being lovers, I am somewhat ashamed to admit that we have never went beyond skinship, occasionally leading to some intimate snuggling and kissing at best. Folks, you know me as pious and honourable person, which is why I mustered all the willpower and denseness from every male harem leads in existence to abstain from making love to mai waifu until our wedding night. Unfortunately, that day came a lot sooner than expected.

(continue reading…)

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AnimeTropes

by on May 5th, 2011 at 5:13 pm, under Text

Most people on the internet are somewhat familiar with TvAnimeTropes.com. It used to be a wiki-style website where common story themes and character traits were cataloged and tracked in media. Now it’s a place where you can read about a 14-year-old’s Naruto sex fantasy where he turns into a female Ninja Turtle with penis-tits. Let’s take a look at their TroperTales Perverse Sexual Lust page

 

I think you know which one I'm choosing.

 

Instead of rolling through all 2,000 of these, we’ll just pick Naruto. (continue reading…)

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Furry Doesn’t Understand Furries

by on May 11th, 2010 at 11:40 pm, under Video

Remember this angry young furry kid? His rant is one of my personal favorite videos on this site.

He posted an update not long after that video, elaborating on his views of the furry fandom and his involvement and (poor) understanding of what it entails. Heh.

Enjoy. (Don’t miss his sweet wolf shirt.)

Thanks, Nick!

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