The Anime Reality

This tweet from last week’s recap was so good we had to give it its own post.

Photo: So I drew my girlfriend in anime form. I guess I can still draw a little lol. She absolutely loved... http://t.co/HpmeW1Sm

September 17th, 2011 1:13 am via TumblrReplyRetweetFavorite

@Iakeem

George Williams

Here’s the drawing of his girlfriend again, for posterity.

This story is amazing for many reasons. First, look at his fucking face. And hair. Ridiculous. He looks like Yugioh ran out of hair gel.

Second, his name is Sir Wilfred Camalgian. COME ON.

Third, he imprisoned his girlfriend in his home and beat her with a stick and crowbar amongst other horrible physical abuses. Absolutely disgusting. Let’s hope he gets what he deserves.

Here’s the money quote:

Sir Wilfred Camaligan, 22, corresponded with the 20-year-old woman over Facebook, and she moved into his home in Chicago’s Jefferson Park in July after they met in person at an anime convention.

Lesson learned: Never trust anyone you meet at anime conventions. Especially this guy.

Hey Anime Online Network, what’s up with you assholes!?

Katana Names

Everyone knows Moon Cleaver is the best name

Don't steal the names for my swords from Anime Swords Online!

I insist all my coworkers at Applebee's call me Ronin

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The latest auto-tuned pop song from the talentless LeetStreet Boys. No thanks to Loach Coach for the heads up about this travesty.

Girls are the bane of every anime faggot’s existence. They all want to date that one Asian girl in their Art 101 class, but have to suffer by watching them date those JERKS that do things like bathe and have wardrobes without cartoon characters on them. They know those jerks don’t respect her and have probably never even thought of how totally kawaii she would be cosplaying some 12-year-old girl. They even held a door open for her once out of their powerful sense of chivalry and didn’t get so much as a handjob in return! Luckily, Nihonomaru serves as a safe haven for these enduring souls.

It's all your fault, girls!

Everyone that isn't me is stupid and poor.

I can't get enough of this guy

I should probably look at some of these other guys, maybe their comments might be less retarded.

I'm guessing self-diagnosed Asperger's

Luckily, not everyone is having romantic troubles.

Who needs real girls?

More misogyny please!

I will never get tired of this kind of shit. Few fandoms can match the anime fandom for the amount of people so smug and self-absorbed but horribly unaware of themselves.

Today’s update is a tale of true love. No, not that neurotypical normie bullshit where a guy and a girl bump into each other in public, go out on a date, and star in some wacky romantic comedy.

I’m talking about the kind of love you can only feel when you stare into the still, unblinking gaze of your loving waifu, the sultry under-aged Rinko-chan.

Folks, it is no secret that I love mai waifu Rinko as if she was my one and only waifu. However, despite being lovers, I am somewhat ashamed to admit that we have never went beyond skinship, occasionally leading to some intimate snuggling and kissing at best. Folks, you know me as pious and honourable person, which is why I mustered all the willpower and denseness from every male harem leads in existence to abstain from making love to mai waifu until our wedding night. Unfortunately, that day came a lot sooner than expected.

(continue reading…)

Hey guys, check out the Fansub TV Network forums! They’re faggots, let’s take a look.

Don’t you guys ever wish you were a member of the superior race known as the Japanese? Well, you’re not alone!

It’s hard being an anime fan in North America or anywhere else other than Japan. Living a life of subtitles and shitty dubs. If only i were Japanese, i could watch an endless amount of anime and understand it perfectly, i some times wish i were Japanese, do you?

I would prefer to be american, thw way I am now. Why? Because I look forward to learning Nihongo, becoming familiar with its culture, and getting to the point where someone says “Woa, your Japanese is soo good, yet your a foriener!” Probabbly because I would never even reveal that I knew the language until I obliterated 70% of my accent. I really don’t want to appear as an otaku, simply by my dress or speech.

i kinda wish i am a japanese whenever im watching animes and other japan stuff =p but come to think of it why not? i can see more advantages of being one…

i dont wish to be a japanese, but i do with to be an anime character!

And of course, every anime forum needs its own post your picture thread so the members can show off their neckbeards and fedoras.

I hear they're huge in Japan

It's pretty bad when your default facial expression is "anime fag."

Hmmm, better get as much of my neckbeard as possible into this shot.

Just hangin' out.

Practicing for the big show at the anime con.

God dammit, I missed Naruto!!!

God damn, that face.