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Tag: love

Davido-kun LOVES Japan

by on November 10th, 2013 at 7:33 pm, under Video

He just can’t get enough.

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LeetStreet Boys – Imaginary Talent

by on August 11th, 2013 at 8:56 pm, under Video

Hey guys, remember the LeetStreet Boys?

Who could forget?

Who could forget?

Well, they’re back and eager to dispel any notion of them having gotten real jobs. Take a moment to listen to a song about how girls can also be delusional and obsessed nerds.

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Awfully Autistic Apptendo

by on April 28th, 2013 at 8:36 pm, under Image, Text

You know, there’s an amazing amount of people out there that will read our site and come away thinking we’re an anime fan blog. I have no idea how you can get that impression if you read anything beyond the title. Do they think we’re showcasing our own stuff on this website? Do they think we own several mansions worth of anime decorated rooms? Do they think we’re also so far down the autistic spectrum that we’re infrared masses of manga, grease, and broken dreams? Somehow, people do. People like Apptendo.

The beginning

The beginning

Apptendo just seemed a little bit too good to be true. Why would someone like this contact a site that makes fun of people just like them? Just look at his self intro on his twitter and his tumblr:

That about sums it up

That about sums it up

Hello, world.

Hello, world.

This is like one of those fake OKCupid profiles featuring some fat sweaty nerd wearing a fedora talking about how he loves guns and ten year olds. Still, I had to find out if he was legit or not and ended up taking a look at his Facebook and Reddit accounts.

A man of varied interests

A man of varied interests

Repressed memories

Repressed memories

Hentai High

Hentai High

Thanks for sharing

Thanks for sharing

Somehow, the nearly vestigial sense of self-awareness Apptendo has held onto kept him from uploading his own picture to the internet. From taking a look at his interests and posts though, I think I can take a guess at what he’s like. Apptendo is the guy in your English class with long hair that looks like shit because he never takes care of it. He’s the guy that’s constantly raising his hand to ask questions, but only ends up rambling on whatever stupid shit he thinks is important. He’s incredibly skinny, which he confuses for being fit because his definition of being in shape is just “not fat.” He only wears video game t-shirts, anime t-shirts, and shirts with the names of obscure martial art styles on them. He thinks any girl that’s talking to him is hitting on him. His favorite anime is all of them. He probably had one or two good friends in high school, but stopped contacting them because it was cutting into his anime time. He reads TVTropes. He is TVTropes. He is you when you were nine years old and wanted to be a Power Ranger so fucking bad, but instead of being a Power Ranger, it’s having sex with big titted preteens.

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Why Are Some Girls so Offended by Chivalry?

by on March 3rd, 2013 at 5:23 pm, under Image, Text

Why are women so put off by the fact that I go out of my way to treat women like anime babies and pretend to be a knight? Haven’t they seen episode 28 of Sugoi Love Love Harem Atheist Ninja? That guy gets all the chicks on the show, so why isn’t it working when I do it in real life? This is why chivalry is dying, it’s all women’s fault! They deserve to date those big jerks if their retarded toddler minds can’t understand that I’m the only male on the planet that respects women for who they are. That bitch didn’t even offer to sleep with me and I HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR HER!

Current Mood: Naruto

Listening to: How Could This Happen to Me – Simple Plan

Why are some girls offended by chivalry?

I also make a scene over my acts of general politeness.

I also make a scene over my acts of general politeness.

"Yeah, I'm not like most girls." - Every girl in high school ever

“Yeah, I’m not like most girls.” – Every girl in high school ever

Did they stop teaching the difference between, "your," and, "you're?"

Did they stop teaching the difference between, “your,” and, “you’re?”

I want to visit the alternate dimension these people live in where opening doors for others is super rare and a big deal.

I want to visit the alternate dimension these people live in where opening doors for others is super rare and a big deal.

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When You Love in the Game, You Love for Real

by on February 17th, 2013 at 10:12 pm, under Video

MageKnight404 has taken a proactive approach towards his unrequited video game crush by creating a romhack to insert himself into the game. Watch as he finally confesses his love and realizes he should probably get a dog or something. The love confession starts at 5:50.

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New Waifu Feminism

by on December 14th, 2012 at 1:49 am, under Image

The real victims of the patriarchy

The real victims of the patriarchy

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Burn All 200lbs of Your Fat With Me!

by on October 21st, 2012 at 8:12 pm, under Video

Have you ever found yourself doing push-up after push-up and thinking, Man, this would be so much better if I had this awkward looking anime girl under me? The answer is no, because people that think like that will not be exercising outside of swinging their swords.com katanas around in their backyards. That’s why the people at Creative Freaks decided to jump on this untapped market and release the first smart phone dating sim/exercise game, Burn Your Fat With Me!

 Burn your fat with me!! uses the Japanese visual novel platform to provide players with the motivation to work out through “moe”, a Japanese term describing that special, heart-melting feeling you get when you see an adorable female character. We call it moevation.

That’s right! If you can’t get motivated moevated to do things like not be fat and not eat all of the Doritos, then here is your solution towards a fit body. This app is fully featured with two, that’s right, TWO whole exercises that aren’t really effective for fat burning to do. You can do sit ups towards an anime girl, or you can do push-ups on top of an anime girl. Perfect for using it at the gym, in front of your parents, or right in the office!

The app revolves around you performing the exercise to your anime desire’s count, tapping the screen on each repetition. You can also turn on True Otaku Mode and just tap the screen without doing any of the exercises, which is pretty much how anyone that buys this thing will play it. The more consistent you are with your exercises, the more moevation points you earn. These points allow you to progress the dating sim story, allowing you to pursue your dream of an (anime) girl calling you, “Not fat.” This game is currently out now on the iOS and Android app stores.

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Craigslist Cuddles

by on October 4th, 2012 at 5:26 pm, under Image, Text

Cuddles for Hire

Let’s Have Some Hot Cuddly Fun – m4w – 30 (Anime)

I am looking to have a lot of fun with a cute women who is interested in having hella cuddles and going on from there to even more satisfying fun. I am a white male who is 5’3 420lbs and d/d free and i know how to work it. I have my own apt and car so i can make it to you if you can’t make it to me. I am just looking to meet up with someone down to earth who enjoys just having a good time with a good guy who likes to laugh. I enjoy kissing, anime, rubbing, licking, and definitely goku among other things. So if you want to hang out with a good looking fun guy let me know and we can get together.

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Look Out Leetstreetboys!

by on June 8th, 2012 at 3:54 pm, under Video

There’s a new anime music crew in town!

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Girls Only Date Jerks: The Intro of Richard J.

by on March 18th, 2012 at 2:29 pm, under Image, Text

What do you mean I have to bathe!?

In the world of terrible anime fans, there are certain topics you know will almost always bring out gold. I’m talking about topics like: guns are dishonorable, swords are the ultimate weapon, various claims of made up abilities and skills, and, of course, girls only date jerks. One of these threads on animenewsnetwork led us to the discovery of Richard J. Richard is a simple man, who goes to college and desires nothing more than a girl that will love him unconditionally so he won’t have to bathe or learn social skills. When someone suggested most “nice guys” are really just passive-aggressive misogynists with social issues, Richard lept (waddled) into action!

Why won't women recognize that I am a special snowflake?

Let me explain this topic in anime terms.

I don't take my own gender nearly as seriously.

Why should he have to do things like talk to girls and talk about things other than anime? He held a door open for a girl once! I’m pretty sure that means he deserves at least two units of sex in compensation. Let’s take a look at his varied interests!

HOW UNUSUAL

Oh no! He didn’t mention his highly successful blog about loving English dubbed anime! Only he has provided a safe haven for anime fans that do not enjoy listening to the superior Japanese language. Anime is a lot better when you don’t have a language barrier preventing you from hearing out the cheesy and melodramatic dialogue. His blog tends to fulfill its purpose fairly well, discussing upcoming anime shows that are going to be English dubbed and released, nothing too offensive. Oh, he also posts tons of anime pictures with captions to make it look like the characters are talking to him.

A lonely heart

Delicious

This is healthy behavior

Hopefully, one day Richard J will meet his non-jerk loving girlfriend and live happily ever after.

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