The Anime Reality

Something a lot of people who watch a shitload of anime seem to have in common is that- -and I believe this to be a damn universal constant- -deep down inside, they want to be Goku. This isn’t altogether unsurprising, because a lot of people who watch a ton of anime would probably want to be both athletic and well-liked by everyone around them and there’s certainly nothing wrong with that.

But rather than take that impulse and hit the gym, all these budding aryan badasses grab a Bawls and start upending bucketfuls of particle effects onto grainy webcam feeds of themselves standing around with clenched fists and, sometimes, all-knowing smirks as the unbridled power of After Effects CS3 runs through their veins.

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Lookin' sharp, Prince!

Description:
Damn that was fast. In my review of Sibeyle’s model last week I closed with

All we need is a Vegeta model, because Goku and his enemies aren’t complete without Vegeta screaming “HIS POWER LEVEL!! IT’S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!111″.

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Wow, I’d expect younger parents to understand anime obsessions. My dad is 71 and he loves anime.

I am a parent now so I’m trying to get my little guy hooked on anime before he turns one XD He giggles whenever I have anything in Japanese on my computer. I don’t understand why everyone elses parents would not understand it. The first thing I ever watched was Totoro via my aunt’s house. One of my aunts lived in Japan for 5 years, so she sent us tons of anime related things including a few old notepads with Goku on them. My other aunt is the one who got me the Totoro movie and other cute Japanese things. My parents love anime and my dad was the one who attempted to get me hooked on it.

Jerry: Today on Jerry Springer, is Frieza gay?

(Frieza walks out to the boos of the audience)

Frieza: Shut up! (He blows up half of the front row)

Jerry: Now Frieza, what is your lifestyle?

Frieza: Well Jerry, I’m a physco-lunatic nent on destroying the world

Jerry: And why is that Frieza?

Frieza: I didn’t get playboy channels! Preferred customers my ass… (he trails off into an incoherent grumble)

Jerry: I always thought you were a girl, and if you’re actually a guy, why do you wear a pink speedo?

Frieza: (he whispers) classified information

Jerry: Now we have a special guest who you’ll remember as an enemy of yours…Please welcome, GOKU!

(Goku enters and the remaining audience members cheer)

Goku: Hey Frieza! How’ve you been?

Frieza: Fine…how are you? (Goku backs away slowly)

Jerry: Frieza, answer this once you’re done drooling….are you gay?

Goku: I can answer that question! He is! He told me right before Namek exploded!

Audience Member #1: Well duh he’s gay! (Frieza slices him in half with an energy ring)

Frieza: It’s true! (he rips off his armor to reveal a dance jumpsuit, and he proceeds to dance all over the stage)

Jerry: Next time on Jerry Springer, Vegeta’s and Bulma’s adventures…UNCUT!