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Tag: girls

Anime Forum Roleplaying Posts

by on November 20th, 2011 at 9:21 pm, under Image, Text

Pretty much every anime forum has some kind of subforum dedicated to nothing but roleplaying. In these hugboxes, fat smug nerds can let their inner pre-op catboy Goku roam free and pretend to be something other than simply another suburban keyboard warrior. Let’s take a look at the epic tales these master storytellers are writing. (continue reading…)

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VenusAngelic: Everything Terrible Rolled Together

by on October 30th, 2011 at 4:14 pm, under Image, Text, Video

UPDATE: When I first wrote this article, I incorrectly thought VenusAngelic was 18 years old. If I had known her true age from the start, I wouldn’t have written the article quite so harshly, and I’m sorry if I hurt a young girl’s feelings over it. Everyone does stupid and embarrassing stuff when they’re 14 or 15 years old. If she has a real passion for makeup and fashion, then more power to her. I still think the weird baby/doll act she has going on is really unhealthy and will attract creepy older men that imagine her as their anime waifu. If she’s trying to attract an audience, then she needs to drop the anime baby act since no one is going to get a real following by acting like that. I’m not sure if her mom is trying to build her into some kind of anime YouTube superstar, but if she is then that’s truly unhealthy.

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Most of you have probably seen the previous video of VenusAngelic, where she basically becomes the worst thing in the world for two minutes and eight seconds. Unfortunately, the rabbit hole on this girl goes far deeper.

Apparently she maintains her own website, complete with its own Facebook fanclub filled with sperglords that fantasize her as their anime dream girl come to life. According to her site bio, she has no Asian ancestry, but apparently grew up “Japanese” because:

Q: When did you get interested in Japan and why?
A: I raised with it – my mom cooked mostly japanese. It seemed usual for me, being interested on Japan. We also looked to Japanese movies on TV and slept on futon.

There are a few explanations for something like this. In going from most likely to least likely:

  1. She’s bullshitting to try and give herself some minor pass to act like a spergin weeaboo
  2. Her mom is also a spergin weeaboo
  3. Her mom had some exposure to Japanese culture and tried to integrate it into her own daily life

Her website is where she primarily places up all her blurry cosplay pictures and even has a shitty memory card game consisting of pictures of her. Considering how many down votes her videos get, I’m pretty sure she gets a ton of shit talkers posting comments and sending her emails. This has probably caused her to try to reinforce her retarded image of herself by insisting everyone be nice and only send her nice questions/comments.

IT'S NICE TO BE IMPORTANT, BUT ITS MORE IMPORTANT TO BE NICE.

Her videos seem to only consist of two different categories: Bad makeup tutorials about how to look more kawaii Japaneseu desu ^_________________^ and these vlog type videos where she basically repeats as many anime catchphrases and gimmicks as she can in her hideous “anime girl’ voice.

Her actual blog isn’t too different either.

This was too much for my chibi stomach! Chewing was diffcult too, because there was a lot to chew! You know, my mouth already hurted! TT_TT But its ok now. ITS OK. At least the burger was really good. To be honest: The burger was better than any McDonalds burger!! And the fries, they were excellent too! Because burger and fries HAVE TO BE TOGETHER!! But, to my disapointment the waitress had to cheat us on 20 cents. OMG. She didnt gave us back the 20cents cash. Donde va a ser mi dineroooooo! We got back our 20cents. Thats important. Thats what counts. Thats the key to success! haha.

Now, I was trying to figure out what exactly about her videos and general persona enraged me so much. At first, I thought that it was because she was literally doing some kind of Asian blackface. She’s putting on some kind of ignorant and perverted idea of how Asian people look and putting on a show as a sperging Japanese person. You know those babies you see named after anime characters by their weeaboo moms? This is what happens when those kids grow up. This is the perfect example of how an 18 year old Naruto Goku Smith would share their anime heritage with the world.

I realized in the end that I hated this shit because it bubbled up everything wrong with the anime fandom as a whole to the surface. She was fetishizing a culture, turning it from another unique group of people and culture into some kind of warped identity and fashion statement. She was one of many that had no first hand experience with Japanese culture and only consumed tons of shitty pop culture from it, thinking that acting like a retarded anime girl is how Japanese people are supposed to act. She is the alpha and omega of weeaboos.

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LeetStreet Boys Breakdown

by on August 19th, 2011 at 5:05 pm, under Image, Text, Video

I’d like to take a moment here to talk about the LeetStreet Boys and why they’re deluded pieces of shit. I know we’ve featured some of their auto-tuned pop rock “music” before, but we’ve never taken a look at the train wreck that is the actual band members. Let’s start with the most prominent member and co-founder of the band, Matt:

You may need to increase your resolution to fit his entire ego on your screen.

Matt is the lead singer of the otaku super group Leetstreet Boys. Like Japanophiles across the country, Matt’s obsessed with all things anime and video games, which are his main preoccupations. He also writes about falling in love, and the mix of fandom and romance in his songs have charmed otaku girls nationwide. Audiences packed with fangirls scream for him at conventions!

(continue reading…)

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One Japanese Girlfriend Please!

by on May 12th, 2011 at 3:56 pm, under Text

I hope that email leads to a mental hospital.

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Asian Boy Band Stalkers Discuss Not Bathing

by on May 6th, 2011 at 10:30 am, under Text

A new cultural obsession with Korea seems to be slowly growing among pasty spergin nerds that tape their eyes back to try and look like one of the superior Asian races. I think it’s kind of like a hipster thing, like trying to totally go against the Japan worshiping faggots by becoming a NEW and ORIGINAL Korea worshiping faggot. Let’s see what important topics soompi, a Korean pop music site, have going on! (Click on the thumbnail to see the posts)

YES

 

 

 

 

(continue reading…)

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How to apologize to a female friend

by on May 12th, 2010 at 12:00 pm, under Video

Make her an AMV. Especially when making amends in circumstances where your mother said something mean to your friend.

Thanks, Joe!

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10 Ways to Get Arrested

by on March 12th, 2010 at 3:39 am, under Text

Seems like the guys over on Riuva have posted incredibly useful advice for getting an anime loving girlfriend. Check it out for yourself to get the greasy anime girl of your dreams.

Realistic expectations

1. Get a big camera and profess to be a “photographer”.

Why? Many of the hotter girl anime fans are cosplayers and hence they like having their pictures taken. Yet they don’t really know much about photography.

But here’s the crucial next step. You will ask the girl for her contacts (email, messenger, phone number) to “pass her the pictures”. Through that, you get the opportunity to talk to her. Beyond that, you could request for “personal photoshoots”, which is actually a date! Sounds awesome right? BECAUSE IT IS!!

2. Write an anime blog or be the owner of a website.

In the digital age of today, lots of cyber stalkers prowl the net. To differentiate yourself from them and establish a strong identity, you need a blog or website. The owner of a popular website like, That Anime Blog, would surely not do bad things to you if you go out with him right? I mean, he’s sooo friendly and intelligent online. The bigger your website, the more credible you seem. And if her friends read your website, it’s even better! She’ll have further incentive to date you because it adds bragging rights. Like “Hey, Janice, you love THAT anime blog right? You read it every day right? Well, that guy is my boyfriend…”

7. Research girl-hunting techniques from experts online and offline.

It’s like when you get stuck in an RPG, you need a walkthrough from gamefaqs.com right? Life is such a game. But it’s a game without savepoints and loading.
There are many dating manuals out there, many of which are tried and tested. The fundamental concept in the most effective manuals are always the same – you differentiate yourselves from other guys and make your target chase you instead. I’ll leave you to read up on this yourself. I hate to share secrets.

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Happy Birthday Chihaya!

by on February 28th, 2010 at 1:53 am, under Image

Coincidentally, all his murder victims are named Chihaya too.

Lonely? How can someone with so many dolls be lonely?

(continue reading…)

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ClearTranquil Mini-Update: Japanese Girls Love Me

by on February 1st, 2010 at 9:44 pm, under Image, Text

Come to me, my Asian princesses.

A few months ago we featured ClearTranquil, a white cosplayer who roamed the streets of Tokyo dressed as a vocaloid. We first featured his room in the Anime Shrines series, which later led to more info on him and his journey to the Oniichanland. Recently, I was checking out his blog and found this post about his trip that I had somehow glossed over before:

When we got to the bottom of the mountain this is where the story gets amazing. We transferred trains and the same group of about 5 girls got on the same car with us again. We got a few train stops down the track when I started to hear them singing. They were singing World is Mine by Hatsune Miku, just a verse. I was like, “Holy crap are they really singing that?” and then they started to sing Meltdown by Kagamine Rin. Billy was like, “Sing with them!”, so I did! I started to hum along to their song (I was a few meters away) and one of them stopped and turned to me and then they ALL stopped and turned to me. I said, “Kagamine Rin” and they started getting excited. One of them said something to me in Japanese and I just pointed to myself and said, “Kaito Cosplay” and they started getting even more excited. It was like, “What’s this? A gaijin knows VOCALOID?”.

So as if they weren’t hysterical enough they went completely off the walls and screaming when I showed them a picture of myself in cosplay that Billy happened to have on his phone. Without that I don’t know what I would have done. They were literally screaming and grabbing the phone from me. Then others came from the train to see what the commotion was about. I had to sign English text-books for them and notebooks. They insisted I shake their hands and I said “sayonara” to them and they got all excited again. I gave out my website URL so I hope they find this post alright.

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Nored knows how to get all the ladies

by on January 19th, 2010 at 3:16 am, under Text

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