Should’ve stuck with DDR.
Need to expand your social circle? Well, come on down to R&D Anime! You can find tons of people that share your interests and are also not allowed within 500 yards of an elementary school.
SON ROSS, are you there? It’s me, the DAD ROSS. You don’t have to worry anymore, son, I took care of it. I kicked the door in to that weak baby’s house with my steel-toed boots and tactical NVGs equipped. He started going off in his dumb jock voice, saying shit like “Get out” and “Who are you?” I gave him the ol’ ROSS family zing and said, “Me? I’m a rock. And a rolling stone gathers no ROSS.” Then I let him have it with my Remington 870, double tap right to his anime-hating core.
I hope you can read this, SON ROSS. He had one of those message things that go out when you type them like on America Online. I had to delete some of his junk though, some more crap about the ROSS. Something about a show called Cat Planet Cuties and you spending 25% of a review on a musical sequence that plays out entirely in Japanese with no subtitles, removing any possible emotional context you were trying to get across. Is that a thing you watch? The cute cat planners? How do I send this message? Is it this publish button?
These things we do so that others may live
Have you ever found yourself doing push-up after push-up and thinking, Man, this would be so much better if I had this awkward looking anime girl under me? The answer is no, because people that think like that will not be exercising outside of swinging their swords.com katanas around in their backyards. That’s why the people at Creative Freaks decided to jump on this untapped market and release the first smart phone dating sim/exercise game, Burn Your Fat With Me!
Burn your fat with me!! uses the Japanese visual novel platform to provide players with the motivation to work out through “moe”, a Japanese term describing that special, heart-melting feeling you get when you see an adorable female character. We call it moevation.
That’s right! If you can’t get
motivated moevated to do things like not be fat and not eat all of the Doritos, then here is your solution towards a fit body. This app is fully featured with two, that’s right, TWO whole exercises that aren’t really effective for fat burning to do. You can do sit ups towards an anime girl, or you can do push-ups on top of an anime girl. Perfect for using it at the gym, in front of your parents, or right in the office!
The app revolves around you performing the exercise to your anime desire’s count, tapping the screen on each repetition. You can also turn on True Otaku Mode and just tap the screen without doing any of the exercises, which is pretty much how anyone that buys this thing will play it. The more consistent you are with your exercises, the more moevation points you earn. These points allow you to progress the dating sim story, allowing you to pursue your dream of an (anime) girl calling you, “Not fat.” This game is currently out now on the iOS and Android app stores.
Thanks for the submission, Chris!
It is a tale. Told by a pedophile, full of potatoes and violent threats, signifying nothing.
Welcome to the end of the Colonel McBadass saga. If you’ve been keeping up with his articles and the rambling comments he’s been vomiting out on this very website, you’ve probably noticed the delusional tough guy persona he puts on. His terrible views on statutory rape laws cultivated a lot of hate, but it was after he started threatening violence and sexual assault on a teenage girl that YouTube user shinkaito called him out on one of his endless fight challenges. Colonel McSanders tried to save face and agreed to this anime honor duel, making a response video (incorrectly calling him “masukaito”) and told him to meet up at a middle school for their showdown.
Shinkaito, wisely knowing this guy should not be anywhere near a middle school ever, set up an alternate location at a park. The potato took him up on this new location, giving various video responses where he claimed he was “training” for the fight and going to totally destroy shinkaito. Luckily for us, shinkaito had the consideration to bring a video camera and show what happened when the fateful time finally arrived. Let’s take a look at this exciting fight footage! Make sure you turn on annotations.
He never showed up. As you can see from his comment, he doesn’t even try to rationalize his hiding out by saying the whole affair was stupid in the first place. It’s the perfect event to close on this great potato adventure, and this video basically sums up his personality better than anything else could. Let’s take a short trip down memory lane to cap this off:
Hahaha, just kidding. A guy like this will probably have plenty of opportunities to humiliate himself some more, so keep posted.
Pedophile apologist, Colonel McBadass, decided to close all of his previous YouTube accounts after being called out on his statutory rape laws video. I’m kind of surprised he folded so quickly, considering how long he tried to play internet tough guy. Luckily for us, he decided he couldn’t just sit back and let people tell him it’s wrong to want to have sex with 13-year-olds. Here are some gems from his new accounts:
Looking for True Love ^_^
Hello from DebuOtaku!!! I would describe myself as an overweight teddy bear armed with lethal kisses. ;) I love all things Japanese and videogame related, but I also enjoy politics and spirited debates. I hope to make all those who view my page, vids, and pics oh so happy. ^_^
Height: 5 ft 9 in
Here’s his Xtube profile (obviously NSFW). He’s posted three videos since his account debuted half a year ago, and they can be found in chronological order here, here and here. He is completely or mostly naked in all of these videos, so don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Thanks to W.T. for making us aware of this horror.
Better give this guy a wide girth. I mean berth.