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Tag: Emerald Templar

The inside scoop on Emerald Templar

by on January 30th, 2010 at 9:25 am, under Text

We’ve got some insightful information from one who has faced the anime reality itself, and lived to tell the tale. Heed the words of Anthony, who claims to know one Emerald Templar in person.

A friend pointed me to your website, and seeing Matt’s face reminded me of all of his fail.
We went to HS together, and while i was a a frosh and he was a senior, its hard to forget this guy,  A few things about this guy:
-He is trench coat whore. Wearing one every day, and getting the nickname trench coat for it, he was made fun of by EVERYONE at hs, frosh would rip on this guy.
-He played yugioh all through highschool with a fat-fuck who thinks he will take over the world one day, and a self proclaimed vampire, did I mention he cheated at it?
-he tried to move out from his house, lasted about 2 days
-Is fucking obsessed with dragons. i can get pictures of his room, and all he has is dragon shit, and a map of middle earth.
-He is dating a whale, MAN THE HARPOONS!
-His band had actually had only 1 fan. This one fan is a homosexual furfag.
-He failed a class at community college.
Real name by the way is Matt R********, lives in ********** IL, and works at a Library 4 hours a week.

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Remembering Spirit Overtaken

by on August 8th, 2009 at 2:25 am, under Image

As all of you are unaware, Spirit Overtaken was Emerald Templar‘s metal/goth/rock band. He happened to be kicked out of the band for being a fat nerd prior to the band completely breaking up, but we decided to take a look back at this young group of musicians that dared to challenge and break down the old fashioned ideas that music should do things like “sound good” and “not make people vomit.” They only wrote one song and their fan base was made up entirely of family and friends, but we know they will continue to rock on in our hearts.

I think they only hang out with that kid on the right to look less awkard by comparison.

I think they only hang out with that kid on the right to look less awkward by comparison.

Whoa, we're getting a little crazy here!

Whoa, we're getting a little crazy here!

Emerald Templar demonstrates the goth-metal butt bump move.

Emerald Templar demonstrates the goth-metal butt bump move.

Not pictured: Spirit Overtaken's millions of fans and musical talent

Not pictured: Spirit Overtaken's millions of fans and musical talent.

Sleeve-less shirt tucked in? Got leather arm bands? Sounds like you're ready to rock!

Sleeveless shirt tucked in? Got leather arm bands? Sounds like you're ready to rock!

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Since all delusional anime fans believe they are special unique snowflakes filled with boundless talent, most of them do things like draw shitty pictures or write shitty stories. Emerald Templar is no exception. Let’s take a look at a small part of his long running self-insert fantasy series. Please keep in mind that he is 21 years old and this was written very recently. Be sure to tell him how much you love his writing!

The incantation had not even finished before the familiars attacked, their little forms suddenly leaping up at him. They were not matter. The demons realized far too late that they were doomed. The last thing they saw was the fierce, intense flash of emerald light from his eyes. And then the spiritual pressure struck, dense, like thousands of invisible blades springing up around him, slashing them apart. The stone’s surface broke and cracked under his feet in a circle around him, dust kicked up from the sudden release. The familiars were simply crushed, and were no more.

The ball of fire came only a second later, but simply dissipated as it collided with his own shield. The sorceror stared wide-eyed at him, his staff coming to level with him as he spoke.

“Sword aura….and a negation seal? Who are you?”

Again, he felt his eyes drawn up to the dragon, the woman in the cage, floating just above their heads. Those purple eyes never left his, locked on to his, and peered down into his very being. And he knew that his were doing just the same to her. And that both of them felt their hearts stir at the very sight of one another. He smiled, causing Airenendel to gasp.

“I am Raosoal!” he bellowed, six wings suddenly springing from his back, feathers and light now all around him, “Seraph King of Heaven, and Dragon Master! And now, you will pay for every last drop of dragonic blood you have spilled!”


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The Rage of the Emerald Templar

by on July 11th, 2009 at 10:11 pm, under Hate Mail

Nothing can protect us now… how can we stand against a man that can block bullets with his sword!? Please feel free to contact Emerald Templar and convince him to be our friend again!

Not to disappoint you, but I have better things to do, and much more important concerns at hand, than to play with you. So I’ll be quite plain.

*ahem* If you would have so kindly read the profile you took from my myspace, you would already know that I would not answer that question, nor would I respect you enough to do so. Thusly, you have no answer to it, as I don’t hold you in confidence nor in ability of mental acceptance of such a topic.

In general, human beings can be a very stupid race. You seem to be a perfect example of that.

Also, because I do not know you, nor have you even mentioned your name in passing, I find it hard to believe that you of any importance. You are a nobody, a useless no-name whose opinions, words, and actions amount to nothing. You are nameless, and therefore worthless. If you had read my profile, again, you would have picked up on this. I have dealt with many a fool such as yourself; dealing with one more is a trifle. It was fun while it lasted, I grow bored with you. Farewell, and try not strain your pretty head too much in the future.


His power knows no bounds...

His power knows no bounds...

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Let Me Spend 30 Minutes to Reply

by on May 15th, 2009 at 1:09 am, under Hate Mail

I was very touched by how you sent my band a whole webpage dedicated to yours truly. While I doubt that anyone but you will ever find the time to read it over, I must congratulate you on a job well-done. I just can’t believe that you took what must have been sheer hours out of your life to make up that webpage, bashing me, insulting me, calling me names. Haha! It was as though you had nothing better to do than scan through every picture, bit of information, and etc. with a fine-tipped comb. It’s obvious you went about your work with particular glee, and I commend you for that. I commend you for wasting what must be so very precious time on me. I cannot even fathom how much of your life must surely have been wasted away, slaving at your computer while trying to put me down.

I was especially pleased on your attempted commentaries on my life concerning the other world and my relationships. They were very childish and I do enjoy a good jest. Indeed, I never knew a forty-year old women would even have such a low amount of intelligence and maturity to put forth this kind of effort on such a small thing. Especially when you must understand very little about what was written. Needless to say, I was in hysterics after reading your webpage. I thank you and your tiny brain for coming up with such an amazing idea to try and berate me. Good job!

Yours very sincerely,
Raosoal ~ The Emerald Templar


Let me write a two paragraph message to show you how little I care!

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I Will Believe Too…

by on May 6th, 2009 at 8:03 pm, under Image

I can't wait for the anime version.

I can't wait for the anime version.

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A Healthy and Mature Perspective

by on May 6th, 2009 at 4:28 am, under Text

His favorite fantasies are the ones where he doesn’t get beaten up.


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Self Portrait

by on May 6th, 2009 at 4:21 am, under Image

Our favorite EMERALD TEMPLAR!!



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I Can’t Tell the Difference!

by on May 6th, 2009 at 4:16 am, under Image

Whoa! Which one is the drawing!?



This was in a folder named Prom 2008. He is currently 21 years old.

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Ah, greetings. I go by many names, but I suppose the two names that I go by most often is either Matt or Raosoal. Fewer know me by the latter, so if you don’t understand, please don’t ask. It’s not something that many would believe, and I would prefer not to waste either your or my time by explaining something you may not even accept.

If you’ve even felt completely out of place in the world, out of touch with its people, or like you should have been born in a different age, welcome to my life. In a nutshell. I have donuts and coffee.

If I had to guess, I should either have been born in the Middle Ages or the Sengoku Era, either knight or samurai, when chivalry and Bushido were a more common thing than the rarity it is today. Yes, I, unlike ninety percent of the population, believe in honor.

I am a gentleman to a fault, or a regular “chauvinist pig”(Dresden Files reference here) as my girlfriend tells me. I open doors for girls, pull out chairs for them, stand before they sit down at a table, follow them the correct way up and down the stairs, get their coat and/or other items, carry things for them, and just about anything else there is to do. To put it shortly, I treat them with every respect and courtesy I can. And I never hit them. Ever. I cannot stand any guy that doesn’t do so either. By the way, if a guy hits a girl, my repayment plan in tenfold per hit plus tax.

Yes, I will charge you money for hitting a girl.

As such, I take relationships very seriously. To me, love is the one most important thing in this whole world. To live by, to live with, and to live in. Love. It’s the one thing that can forever bind two people together for an eternity. And that is just my wish. And now, I know I have found it.

I find it very hard to say good things about myself…I guess I’m a humble person, I don’t know. I just hate bragging, because then I feel like an ass, so I am only confident about what I know I can do. Still, I don’t do brag about them. I am an aspiring writer now working on a trilogy of fantasy, romantic, adventure novels. Not to mention the one thousand other ideas I have in my head. I also do a lot of drawing in my spare time, and I’m constantly improving. I’m now the lead vocalist to the progressive metal band Spirit Overtaken, made up of the best groups of guys I’ll ever meet. I never used to be involved in music(I never learned how to play a single instrument), but after spending time with the band, I hope to make my career with them. My singing idol is Fabio Lione of Rhapsody of Fire, and I hope to one day be as good as he is.

I am one of the most sarcastic people you will ever meet, which might be surprising to some, for I am also very reserved. I joke around when I can, and call friends names and tease them(more like roast them alive), but I don’t even mean it most of the time. Some people get confused and say I hate everyone, and nothing could be farther from the truth. Believe you me, when I hate you, you will damn well know it. Ironically, as to oppose my sarcasm, I am probably also one of the most understanding people you will ever meet, so much so that I scare people(I am really empathetic, and I can pretty much read people’s thoughts, emotions, and actions with a single glance). I am very stubborn. I could get shot in the head and I’d kill whoever shot me before I went. And I would die standing up.

I was born a Catholic, but I’ve sort of drifted away from actually being one. I tend to take a stand against organized religions, because there’s a lot of hypocrisy, brainwashing, and other bullshit involved in it. Religion doesn’t teach you how to be a good person; it teaches you how to be a good member of that religion. Which is why I am agnostic. I am, however, deeply spiritual. I just think that it’s enough for God if I am a good person. And many of my moral views parallel Christianity.

I’m a goth. Not a show goth, the ones who only shop at Hot Topic, where a bunch of white and black makeup, dress in all black with Tripps, dye my hair, and have so many piercings that I’d be torn to shreds if someone came up to me with a high-powered magnet. Not that goth. I am the original, old-fashioned goth, the one that scorns the show goths for being utter fools. I’m the one in the long coat, usually classy outfit. The one who understands what it means to be goth.

I am a black belt in Shotokan Karate, and hate the laws that say I can’t beat the living daylights out of someone who really deserves it, and also that I can’t carry around a sword(Guns are dishonorable, I hate them). Yes, I am also a self-trained swordsman in Japanese katana, European hand-and-a-half sword, and Spanish rapier styles of combat. I find myself often wishing I could employ these martial arts against certain people. This happens quite often, because we have a bunch of guys that have superiority complexes and subconsciously worried that someone has a bigger dick than them(sorry for sounding crass, but it’s true). Hence the reason for when people don’t realize that they have fucked with the WRONG person until they’re in a body cast. Sure, I’d like to slaughter every evil, dishonorable bastard out there with a sword. But then, it’s not like I could just tell the cops that ‘Sorry, the battojutsu just kinda slipped’….

And that, my friends, is me.


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