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I don’t even know any more

by on April 29th, 2013 at 9:19 am, under Image

Nothing shocks me any more

Blame Mike G. for submitting this.

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Awfully Autistic Apptendo

by on April 28th, 2013 at 8:36 pm, under Image, Text

You know, there’s an amazing amount of people out there that will read our site and come away thinking we’re an anime fan blog. I have no idea how you can get that impression if you read anything beyond the title. Do they think we’re showcasing our own stuff on this website? Do they think we own several mansions worth of anime decorated rooms? Do they think we’re also so far down the autistic spectrum that we’re infrared masses of manga, grease, and broken dreams? Somehow, people do. People like Apptendo.

The beginning

The beginning

Apptendo just seemed a little bit too good to be true. Why would someone like this contact a site that makes fun of people just like them? Just look at his self intro on his twitter and his tumblr:

That about sums it up

That about sums it up

Hello, world.

Hello, world.

This is like one of those fake OKCupid profiles featuring some fat sweaty nerd wearing a fedora talking about how he loves guns and ten year olds. Still, I had to find out if he was legit or not and ended up taking a look at his Facebook and Reddit accounts.

A man of varied interests

A man of varied interests

Repressed memories

Repressed memories

Hentai High

Hentai High

Thanks for sharing

Thanks for sharing

Somehow, the nearly vestigial sense of self-awareness Apptendo has held onto kept him from uploading his own picture to the internet. From taking a look at his interests and posts though, I think I can take a guess at what he’s like. Apptendo is the guy in your English class with long hair that looks like shit because he never takes care of it. He’s the guy that’s constantly raising his hand to ask questions, but only ends up rambling on whatever stupid shit he thinks is important. He’s incredibly skinny, which he confuses for being fit because his definition of being in shape is just “not fat.” He only wears video game t-shirts, anime t-shirts, and shirts with the names of obscure martial art styles on them. He thinks any girl that’s talking to him is hitting on him. His favorite anime is all of them. He probably had one or two good friends in high school, but stopped contacting them because it was cutting into his anime time. He reads TVTropes. He is TVTropes. He is you when you were nine years old and wanted to be a Power Ranger so fucking bad, but instead of being a Power Ranger, it’s having sex with big titted preteens.

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Lotto’s Acuo anime gum

by on April 15th, 2013 at 10:29 pm, under Video

Thanks to @tondog for this appropriate piece of Japanese advertisement!

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Don’t You Worry, Don’t You Worry Gohan

by on April 8th, 2013 at 6:54 pm, under Video

No word yet on when his collaboration with the Black Out Band is coming out, but I’m sure it will be soon..

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It’s All Bad Everywhere

by on April 8th, 2013 at 12:22 am, under Video

We’ve seen a lot of really horrible people in the American anime fandom here on the Anime Reality. I mean, even Japan probably has some… Oh… Oh god…

It’s like I’m watching Salvador Dali’s anime fueled fever dream.

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Proof that Japanese girls want to be groped

by on April 5th, 2013 at 10:33 pm, under Video

We definitely posted this video a while ago, but I’m pretty sure that the version we had was taken down. So here it is again, for posterity. Enjoy, or don’t.

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Party with Pinkie (NSFW)

by on March 29th, 2013 at 9:00 pm, under Video

Does My Little Pony count as anime? The answer is I don’t give a shit, because I’m posting this anyway. Enjoy the worst fucking video ever recorded while it lasts, because YouTube will probably take it down once they find it.

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Meet the R&D Anime Crew

by on March 27th, 2013 at 8:00 am, under Video

Need to expand your social circle? Well, come on down to R&D Anime! You can find tons of people that share your interests and are also not allowed within 500 yards of an elementary school.

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Final Fantasy (Finaru Fantaji)

by on March 24th, 2013 at 8:09 pm, under Text

The Final Fantasy series has lost a lot of its brand integrity over the last few years, hasn’t it? Maybe most of us just grew out of the target demographic and don’t find Philosophy 101 styled anime soap operas all that appealing anymore. Square Enix has nothing to worry about though, since there will always be an audience out there just frothing at the mouth for the next installment so they can start writing their fanfictions starring their Original Characters (do not steal). Smug anime nerds and Final Fantasy fans go hand-in-hand, so let’s take a look at the Final Fantasy Forums and see what they’re up to.

I can already see where this is going.

I can already see where this is going.

Catholics love it.

Catholics love it.

I don't see why so many people complain about Uguu Toddler Kiss.

I don’t see why so many people complain about  Uguu Toddler Kiss.

Third World Countries: Pedo Paradise

Third World Countries: Pedo Paradise

Anime scents? Stale tears and Mountain Dew, I guess.

Anime scents? Stale tears and Mountain Dew, I guess.

Drag this person out into sunlight, please.

Drag this person out into sunlight, please.

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Why, hello Clarice.

by on March 18th, 2013 at 7:59 am, under Image

Why, hello Clarice.

“Io fei gibetto a me de le mie case.”

Thanks, @cromanionfolks!

8 Comments More...

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