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Category: Text

Twitter Recap – Week of 8/19/12

by on August 25th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

We were busy this week.

Staying up all night watching anime... I need a fucking girlfriend.
maybe all this anime is the reason i dnt have a girlfriend..#smh
@BittaSwit_TwisT
Malcolm Kiilu Jr
These Asians look like they all jumped out of an anime show.
@LightJuche
Noble Savage
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Twitter Recap – Week of 8/12/12

by on August 18th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

Sometimes I think the worst part about watching anime is having to face reality afterwards :/
@francehopper
Stephen J. Weber
why is it that there a more cute,nice girls in anime than reality? especially since anime girls are more friendly despite their appearance.
@whosthatpokewdf
Fuckface Fupa Magoo
These Japanese people sitting right by me look like anime characters... #Nolie #notracist
@kinnngaiwanska
Kinga Iwanska
watching one of my favorite anime shows, and my mum says i treat it like porn because i hide the screen from her and tend to watch alone. ew
@sulleypotter
sulleypotter
Everyone looks at celebrities & are like "omg i want to look like her" while I'm watching anime like "omg i want to look like yui hirasawa"
I don't like boys. I think I'll stay alone forever and just watch anime and play video games. :)
This old lady told me I look like an Anime cartoon character. #IFailedAtLife
@KimberlyLyna
Make Love Not War
#HowIMetMyBestfriend when I asked her about her first impression of me she said I look like a japanese bc of my slanted eyes *anime freak*
bitch you look like a anime stripper.
@vanilla_lush
sσмεтнιη sσ vιvι∂
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Chou Anime – A maid cafe in Detroit

by on August 14th, 2012 at 8:29 am, under Image, Text, Video

Chou Anime Cafe is the only "meido kafue" in the U.S.

Chou Anime Cafe is the only “meido kafue” in the U.S.

Check out this lede paragraph from the Detroit News:

Detroit has seen many “firsts” over the years: first mile of paved road, first techno artists. And now it has its first maid cafe — or “meido kafue,” as these novelty coffee houses and restaurants are called in Japan.

Damn, that’s terrible. The writing, not necessarily the fact that an enterprising couple started their own small business.

Chou Anime in Detroit is the only maid cafe currently operating in the United States, according to the Detroit News – another in California closed after a three-year stint.

Be sure to check out the full article for a great video of the cafe’s employees and constituents. There’s also a “helpful terms” section at the very bottom of the article that is not to be missed.

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Kendo by Chris Mooney

by on August 13th, 2012 at 8:01 am, under Text

I used to practice kendo for quite a while, and one day decided to see what kind of books on kendo were on iBooks. I had no idea at the time that my minor curiosity would lead me to find the greatest tale ever written. This epic poem will make Romance of the Three Kingdoms look like baby’s first novel. I’m talking about Kendo by Chris Mooney, written in 2005. Kendo is currently $2.99 on iTunes, but there is a generous free sample available for download. I urge every single one of you reading this to download that sample and read it, but do not buy it. If you buy it, it may encourage Chris Mooney to write a sequel, which would be the best and worst thing to ever happen.

Meet Chris Mooney and Elliott.  Both are hard working American students in high school.  Both live normal lives like everyone else.  Ya, right.  After being accepted into one of the most prized private schools in Japan the two find themselves involved in an adventure that will rock the rest of their lives.  Not only are the two not your average students, they are both exceptional martial artists with powers passed down for centuries, powers that both shock and baffle their exchange familys daughter, Yui.  Add a little humor, a pinch of romance and a butt load of martial arts action and youve got one of the greatest martial arts epics of all time.

Reading the downloaded sample of this novel was an experience I will never forget. It was like having a fever dream while the Dragon Ball Z theme song blasted into my ears on repeat. The novel basically follows Grey Acumen and Emerald Templar, as they embark on a new life as students at a MARTIAL ARTS HIGH SCHOOL in Japan. Despite apparently being sponsored to come to Japan, go to school, and live with a host family, they just show up with no money or luggage. Their host family are kendo masters, including the young Yui, who seeks her equal in the world of kendo. Will she find her equal match/love interest in Chris!? I must know!  Here are some choice parts from the very first paragraph:

Chris had his Kendo stick and his fingerless gloves that were black in color. Elliot had his own Kendo stick and also his sunglasses, that was all. Elliot was dressed in black cargo pants, white shirt and a trench coat that looked like the one off of Matrix. Chris was dressed in a set of blue cargo pants with a brown dress shirt with long sleeves. On their feet were black boots and tennis shoes. Chris wore the boots and Elliot the shoes.

I feel like I bored a hole into Chris Mooney’s head and watched his greatest anime desires spill out onto the ground. I don’t know why he decided he needed to spend three sentences describing their Grey Acumen costumes, or why he seems to always capitalize “Kendo” and “Karate” like they were angry gods that must be honored at all times. I also don’t know why he based his entire character’s martial art around kendo, but didn’t take two minutes to look it up on Wikipedia and learn some of the terminology. Why even call it a kendo stick when you’re trying to emphasize their fencing abilities? Because shut up, that’s why. You wanna know what happened to the last punks that challenged Chris Mooney?

“You American?” The youth asked in broken English. Chris smiled even wider and nodded his head. He placed a foot in front of him and placed his back right foot two inches back from his shoulder. His toes were pointed forward from his body as he hunched down and now held the Kendo stick with both hands by the handle. Elliot stepped a few feet to Chris’ right and crossed his arms with a smile […] Chris then pushed with his left foot, which was still planted and finished the strike by following through with his movement. He stopped himself a yard away from the teen and stood up straight as the teen fell to his knees, dropping the sword which he’d been holding moments before. He held his ribs and was gasping for breath as he turned to look at Chris. Chris was still hold [sic] his Kendo stick with his right hand, his grin was still on his face.

“H-How… the….hell…????” The teen asked as Chris turned to look down on him.

“Simple, you lifted your left arm too much and I took advantage. Good night now.” Chris said as he planted both feet and hit the boy with his stick right across the right side of his face.

That would be you. You would have the Kendo stick sword blade planted into your face good night now, so you better watch your fuckin’ mouth. Only one person has managed to say anything but pure praise for Kendo and survived.

This has to be the weirdest book I’ve ever read – almost like anime in book form. Totally fanciful, unbelievable characters and no plot to speak of. The non-story just lurched from one fight scene to the next without any respite.

It was also full of bad English and typos, I was wondering if that was an ebook issue. Having said all that it was somehow strangely compelling. I actually finished reading it even though it was annoying, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Nothing like Chris Mooney’s other excellent books.

Other books? I couldn’t believe it, but a quick search for Chris Mooney’s website revealed an author of the same name. At first, I thought this was the same guy, now hoping to hide his shameful past with Kendo after moving on to gritty supernatural crime thrillers. Unfortunately, this is a different guy, though people seem to confuse him with the Kendo Chris Mooney quite a bit:

Why aren’t the books Kendo and the two nonfiction titles, The Republican War on Science and Storm World, listed on your website?

I didn’t write any of those books. Everything I’ve written is posted here on the website.

We may never see a sequel to Kendo, but at least we’ll always have the audiobook. Let’s listen to a sample:

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Twitter Recap – Week of 8/5/12

by on August 11th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

Short Twitter Recap this week because we were busy actually making posts! Hooray! Enjoy the meteor shower tonight, y’all.

Anime, to me, is much more than a cartoon. It is magic, it's a refuge from my reality. It's a world in which I feel accepted
@ariennaminx
Judiel •애니메이션 인형•
The world is an illusion of the mind...... Which makes hot anime girls a reality :3
@HPhungergames
Ben Vallard
wine and sushi is miserable as heck when ur alone. time for anime
@evasdf
sharms
The sad reality is my soul mate is an anime character. #shelteredchild
@OShreve
Olivia Shreve
Dontcha Wish Ya Girlfriend Was Desu Like Me? Dontcha Wish Ya Girlfriend Was Anime? DONTCHAAAAA~~
@Rouge_of_Hope
Hearts and Hashes
I hate my squinty eyes when I smile, I look like a Japanese anime character
@n_nijem
Nadeen
Has anyone else noticed all the Asians look like Anime characters?! #wtf. 😂😂😂😂
@Morgannnxo
Morgan McCastor
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Twitter Recap – Week of 7/29/12

by on August 4th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

This week’s edition of the Twitter Recap features a large amount of Olympic racism after the jump. Enjoy.

Huh. I'm too obsessed with anime girls. Someone smack me or something. I need a reality check.
@LinkTheGHhero14
Miles Zags™
So my rooommates complain about me watching reality tv all the time and I come home and they are watching fuckin anime #Losers
@BrandonGraves_
Brandon Graves

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Twitter Recap – Week of 7/8/12

by on July 14th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

My girlfriend is too busy watching anime to have sex with me.
@BiggieTokes420
Jesse Forest
Guys I look like I’m an anime character. My eyes are SOOOOOO BIG http://t.co/U7gem6Li
@Robbie
Robbie Trencheny

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Twitter Recap – Week of 7/1/12

by on July 7th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

I keep thinking my life is an Anime so I don't get over-depressed about reality.
@SkylerCourlaitt
Sky Ichinose
Why can't anime characters be real? :'( they're so much better than reality /:
@Gaaras_Bitch
Chloe Brown

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Twitter Recap – Week of 6/24/12

by on June 30th, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

First, a Twitter testimonial.

http://t.co/IYTPJ9kv has been quietly but consistently improving my life for so long http://t.co/VMhh0ihV
@cromanionfolks
Rory Manion

And now, back to your regularly scheduled Twitter Recap.

everytime I finish watching an amazing anime I wake up to my reality and realize how cruel and strange my life really is.
@glowing_dreams
♫ Píʞα¢нμ Laץℓa εїз
People who are searching for those kind of anime to watch , you are so...utmost disgusting. geez go find a girlfriend or something... gross
@_xReiKA
I'mANDY♥

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Twitter Recap – Week of 6/17/12

by on June 23rd, 2012 at 11:59 pm, under Text

#20FactsAboutMe 1. I wish reality was exactly like anime.
@MysteriousAkuma
Esther エスター
I might have to stop watching anime. I get too into story lines and it fucks up my reality lol. Makes me want certain things to exist.
@ImaniLequin
Bambi バンビ Doll

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