The Anime Reality

CLICK HERE FOR GLORIOUS NSFW TATTOO IMAGERY

Submitted by loyal reader David. I think the character is Hatake Kakashi of Naruto, which I actually had to Google to verify. Don’t correct me if I’m wrong because I don’t care.

Actual photograph of a man becoming "so numb"

Musically inclined:

Twerkily inclined:

welp

Pretty much every anime forum has some kind of subforum dedicated to nothing but roleplaying. In these hugboxes, fat smug nerds can let their inner pre-op catboy Goku roam free and pretend to be something other than simply another suburban keyboard warrior. Let’s take a look at the epic tales these master storytellers are writing. (continue reading…)

UPDATE: When I first wrote this article, I incorrectly thought VenusAngelic was 18 years old. If I had known her true age from the start, I wouldn’t have written the article quite so harshly, and I’m sorry if I hurt a young girl’s feelings over it. Everyone does stupid and embarrassing stuff when they’re 14 or 15 years old. If she has a real passion for makeup and fashion, then more power to her. I still think the weird baby/doll act she has going on is really unhealthy and will attract creepy older men that imagine her as their anime waifu. If she’s trying to attract an audience, then she needs to drop the anime baby act since no one is going to get a real following by acting like that. I’m not sure if her mom is trying to build her into some kind of anime YouTube superstar, but if she is then that’s truly unhealthy.

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Most of you have probably seen the previous video of VenusAngelic, where she basically becomes the worst thing in the world for two minutes and eight seconds. Unfortunately, the rabbit hole on this girl goes far deeper.

Apparently she maintains her own website, complete with its own Facebook fanclub filled with sperglords that fantasize her as their anime dream girl come to life. According to her site bio, she has no Asian ancestry, but apparently grew up “Japanese” because:

Q: When did you get interested in Japan and why?
A: I raised with it – my mom cooked mostly japanese. It seemed usual for me, being interested on Japan. We also looked to Japanese movies on TV and slept on futon.

There are a few explanations for something like this. In going from most likely to least likely:

1. She’s bullshitting to try and give herself some minor pass to act like a spergin weeaboo
2. Her mom is also a spergin weeaboo
3. Her mom had some exposure to Japanese culture and tried to integrate it into her own daily life

Her website is where she primarily places up all her blurry cosplay pictures and even has a shitty memory card game consisting of pictures of her. Considering how many down votes her videos get, I’m pretty sure she gets a ton of shit talkers posting comments and sending her emails. This has probably caused her to try to reinforce her retarded image of herself by insisting everyone be nice and only send her nice questions/comments.

IT'S NICE TO BE IMPORTANT, BUT ITS MORE IMPORTANT TO BE NICE.

Her videos seem to only consist of two different categories: Bad makeup tutorials about how to look more kawaii Japaneseu desu ^_________________^ and these vlog type videos where she basically repeats as many anime catchphrases and gimmicks as she can in her hideous “anime girl’ voice.

Her actual blog isn’t too different either.

This was too much for my chibi stomach! Chewing was diffcult too, because there was a lot to chew! You know, my mouth already hurted! TT_TT But its ok now. ITS OK. At least the burger was really good. To be honest: The burger was better than any McDonalds burger!! And the fries, they were excellent too! Because burger and fries HAVE TO BE TOGETHER!! But, to my disapointment the waitress had to cheat us on 20 cents. OMG. She didnt gave us back the 20cents cash. Donde va a ser mi dineroooooo! We got back our 20cents. Thats important. Thats what counts. Thats the key to success! haha.

Now, I was trying to figure out what exactly about her videos and general persona enraged me so much. At first, I thought that it was because she was literally doing some kind of Asian blackface. She’s putting on some kind of ignorant and perverted idea of how Asian people look and putting on a show as a sperging Japanese person. You know those babies you see named after anime characters by their weeaboo moms? This is what happens when those kids grow up. This is the perfect example of how an 18 year old Naruto Goku Smith would share their anime heritage with the world.

I realized in the end that I hated this shit because it bubbled up everything wrong with the anime fandom as a whole to the surface. She was fetishizing a culture, turning it from another unique group of people and culture into some kind of warped identity and fashion statement. She was one of many that had no first hand experience with Japanese culture and only consumed tons of shitty pop culture from it, thinking that acting like a retarded anime girl is how Japanese people are supposed to act. She is the alpha and omega of weeaboos.

I thought we’d take a look back and see what KingdomHeartsFrantic has been doing lately. After the last article about him, he came out saying that he only played a character on his youtube channel, claiming he only spent hundreds of dollars on anime paraphernalia for his show, and his multiple journals and forum accounts were done in character. Luckily, we are not retarded and know that he’s the frumpy ass weeaboo we’ve seen him to be. What has he been sperging about lately though? Well, let’s take a look.

The deviantart

His most recent journal entry deals with his original youtube account (UltimateUKFFFan) being deleted. He has since created a new account (linked above) and promises that, “Things are going to be different now. Things are going to be bigger, things are going to be better. As Legacy’s old theme used to say “It’s a new day, it’s a new generation. It’s a new day. No we never look back, no we’re never lookin’ back.” Think that kind of applies to what’s happened here. So for all future videos please check out: KHFMcAwesome. Keep in mind this channel is still under construction at the moment, so things look a little basic right now. But soon things will be back to the way they used to be… but better!”

Keep in mind that Jack (not John, as originally thought) is now 20 years old. For those of you over 20 years old, what were you doing at that age? If you’re under 20, what do you plan to be doing? Was/is it making this?

I'm gonna hang this on my fridge.

(continue reading…)

Remember this guy? Luckily for us, he’s gotten himself a bigger apartment and can now display his full collection. Since, you know, the previous showing was just embarrassingly small. (You should see my Goku collection.)

The Japanese version of Helga's shrine to Arnold.

Click through for the full future crime scene.
(continue reading…)

This tweet from last week’s recap was so good we had to give it its own post.

Photo: So I drew my girlfriend in anime form. I guess I can still draw a little lol. She absolutely loved... http://t.co/HpmeW1Sm

September 17th, 2011 1:13 am via TumblrReplyRetweetFavorite

@Iakeem

George Williams

Here’s the drawing of his girlfriend again, for posterity.

This story is amazing for many reasons. First, look at his fucking face. And hair. Ridiculous. He looks like Yugioh ran out of hair gel.

Second, his name is Sir Wilfred Camalgian. COME ON.

Third, he imprisoned his girlfriend in his home and beat her with a stick and crowbar amongst other horrible physical abuses. Absolutely disgusting. Let’s hope he gets what he deserves. You know, on top of being arrested.

Here’s the money quote:

Sir Wilfred Camaligan, 22, corresponded with the 20-year-old woman over Facebook, and she moved into his home in Chicago’s Jefferson Park in July after they met in person at an anime convention.

Lesson learned: Never trust anyone you meet at anime conventions. Especially this guy.