The Anime Reality

Got some extra cash on hand? Then please burn it and do not donate to these people.

Should’ve stuck with DDR.

You know, there’s an amazing amount of people out there that will read our site and come away thinking we’re an anime fan blog. I have no idea how you can get that impression if you read anything beyond the title. Do they think we’re showcasing our own stuff on this website? Do they think we own several mansions worth of anime decorated rooms? Do they think we’re also so far down the autistic spectrum that we’re infrared masses of manga, grease, and broken dreams? Somehow, people do. People like Apptendo.

The beginning

Apptendo just seemed a little bit too good to be true. Why would someone like this contact a site that makes fun of people just like them? Just look at his self intro on his twitter and his tumblr:

That about sums it up

Hello, world.

This is like one of those fake OKCupid profiles featuring some fat sweaty nerd wearing a fedora talking about how he loves guns and ten year olds. Still, I had to find out if he was legit or not and ended up taking a look at his Facebook and Reddit accounts.

A man of varied interests

Repressed memories

Hentai High

Thanks for sharing

Somehow, the nearly vestigial sense of self-awareness Apptendo has held onto kept him from uploading his own picture to the internet. From taking a look at his interests and posts though, I think I can take a guess at what he’s like. Apptendo is the guy in your English class with long hair that looks like shit because he never takes care of it. He’s the guy that’s constantly raising his hand to ask questions, but only ends up rambling on whatever stupid shit he thinks is important. He’s incredibly skinny, which he confuses for being fit because his definition of being in shape is just “not fat.” He only wears video game t-shirts, anime t-shirts, and shirts with the names of obscure martial art styles on them. He thinks any girl that’s talking to him is hitting on him. His favorite anime is all of them. He probably had one or two good friends in high school, but stopped contacting them because it was cutting into his anime time. He reads TVTropes. He is TVTropes. He is you when you were nine years old and wanted to be a Power Ranger so fucking bad, but instead of being a Power Ranger, it’s having sex with big titted preteens.

We’ve seen a lot of really horrible people in the American anime fandom here on the Anime Reality. I mean, even Japan probably has some… Oh… Oh god…

It’s like I’m watching Salvador Dali’s anime fueled fever dream.

Need to expand your social circle? Well, come on down to R&D Anime! You can find tons of people that share your interests and are also not allowed within 500 yards of an elementary school.

The Final Fantasy series has lost a lot of its brand integrity over the last few years, hasn’t it? Maybe most of us just grew out of the target demographic and don’t find Philosophy 101 styled anime soap operas all that appealing anymore. Square Enix has nothing to worry about though, since there will always be an audience out there just frothing at the mouth for the next installment so they can start writing their fanfictions starring their Original Characters (do not steal). Smug anime nerds and Final Fantasy fans go hand-in-hand, so let’s take a look at the Final Fantasy Forums and see what they’re up to.

I can already see where this is going.

Catholics love it.

I don’t see why so many people complain about  Uguu Toddler Kiss.

Third World Countries: Pedo Paradise

Anime scents? Stale tears and Mountain Dew, I guess.

Drag this person out into sunlight, please.

Jewguu~

And God said, Let there be Manga: and there was Manga. And God saw the Manga, and it was bad.

Why are women so put off by the fact that I go out of my way to treat women like anime babies and pretend to be a knight? Haven’t they seen episode 28 of Sugoi Love Love Harem Atheist Ninja? That guy gets all the chicks on the show, so why isn’t it working when I do it in real life? This is why chivalry is dying, it’s all women’s fault! They deserve to date those big jerks if their retarded toddler minds can’t understand that I’m the only male on the planet that respects women for who they are. That bitch didn’t even offer to sleep with me and I HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR HER!

Current Mood: Naruto

Listening to: How Could This Happen to Me – Simple Plan

I also make a scene over my acts of general politeness.

“Yeah, I’m not like most girls.” – Every girl in high school ever

Did they stop teaching the difference between, “your,” and, “you’re?”

I want to visit the alternate dimension these people live in where opening doors for others is super rare and a big deal.

Fedoras are a staple dress item of nerd fandoms, especially anime ones. They’re basically the Axe body spray of the hat world, an item worn by the most socially inept in an effort to look cool. Let’s take a listen at what this couch full of nerds has to say about the glory of the fedora.