The Anime Reality

Most people on the internet are somewhat familiar with TvAnimeTropes.com. It used to be a wiki-style website where common story themes and character traits were cataloged and tracked in media. Now it’s a place where you can read about a 14-year-old’s Naruto sex fantasy where he turns into a female Ninja Turtle with penis-tits. Let’s take a look at their TroperTales Perverse Sexual Lust page…

I think you know which one I'm choosing.

Instead of rolling through all 2,000 of these, we’ll just pick Naruto.

Naruto himself? I am so calling dibs!

• Oh yeah, big time. Naruto is practically the embodiment of everything this troper finds attractive: the outgoing and rambunctious personality, the blond hair, the lean and toned physique, the tattoo on his stomach … and of course, the fact that he can make an endless supply of clones doesn’t hurt either. Neither does the way he likes to take off his clothes a lot.

Sakura. Oh Sakura. Who wouldn’t like a girl who’s outwardly vulnerable, but developed a spine, grit and some badassery after she decided she was sick of being useless? Not this troper. And she still retains a mischievous side. When you factor in her strong,athletic legs, perfect rear and those bicycle shorts, plus intelligence and Super Strength… Perverse. Sexual. Lust.

• If he can’t have Sakura, Temari would be a more-than-acceptable alternative. Those legs of hers – before and (probably) after the Time Skip – they’re things of beauty and power. Her blonde bunches and cool, commanding manner are just extra cheese and ketchup.

Comparing an anime girl to food HOW UNEXPECTED

• This lurker tops that with a thing for Orochimaru wearing the Leaf Headband and Jounin uniform. And uh, also has a thing for the whole ‘lol Orochimaru molests Sasuke’ thing being totally reversed and Sasuke being hot for sensei to [1] levels because the mental image is hilarious. I think it’s his long, straight, shiny black hair that does it, it’s utterly gorgeous. I kinda wanna spend all day brushing it and making braids.
• OH GOD THIS TROPER WANTS THE SAME THING, HIS HAIR IS SO PRETTY. I really, really TRIED not to have a thing for Orochimaru, but, well, come on. A guy with a super-flexible body in perfect condition, a really, really, REALLY long tongue, the ability to never die, and the voice of Steve Blum? I never had a chance. I also like the idea of him just being a crazed bisexual baddie, because that’s hot.

Hot for sensei

• I was watching Naruto with my sister, who is a massive Naruto fan. During the course of the episode, I saw the woman of my dreams… I asked my sister who she was, and she told me it was Karin. The red hair, the glasses, everything was just so perfect. I then realized that she was but a drawing… but then I remembered about cosplayers!

Anime Conventions: Faggot Paradise

There are 2.348 total words about wanting to have sex with Naruto. 2,348 words about having Naruto sex. Think about it.