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KingdomHeartsFrantic

by on July 3rd, 2009 at 4:04 am, under Image, Text

God. Fucking. Damn.

Here at The Anime Reality, we’ve come across a lot of pretty awful anime fans. Some are horrible, most are laughable, but for the most part they’re pretty uniform across most anime forums. I thought it would be hard to find more good material until this guy:

THIS GUY

Meet John

THIS FUCKING GUY seems to be everything terrible about anime fans rolled into one mega-being. It’s like someone kidnapped a child and raised him entirely in anime conventions. Seriously, I want you to imagine what it would be like if Dr. Frankenstein’s monster was made of manga and grease instead of body parts. It would be him. It would be this guy. Just look over his YouTube profile description:

Get this through your thick skulls fanboys: I. Don’t. Like. Dragonball! Whether it’s the original, Z, or GT, I hate it as a whole! It’s over-rated, boring as shit, and is over-all just stupid! Stop trying to get me into it! I don’t like it anymore! LIVE WITH IT!!!

First off I’m a Christian. If you have a problem with that then you can get lost, because I’m not getting into an arguement over my beliefs. I am also a HUGE fan of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, again if you have a problem with that then you can get lost. I’m sick of people having a go at me for having a fandom. I’m a Christian Haruhi-ist, live with it.

Second, I’m autistic. I suffer from Asperger’s Syndrome. However, unlike a certain user who shall remain nameless, I don’t use it as an excuse to justify my actions. That being said there are some things that I do or can’t do/understand too well because of this. While I try and keep it under control I do ask people to meet me half way on this matter. For my part I’ll try and keep it under control as best I can.

That is how he introduces himself to the world. I want you to imagine reading that introduction with this picture endlessly tiling in the background as well:

The Alternates

The Alternates

He seems to have an attachment to this image and refers to it many times in his various journal entries. Who are the Alternates? Apparently, he believes that they are the same person in alternate dimensions. He is suggesting that he is the alternate dimension-self of anime characters. John seems to hold a special fixation on the anime character on the right in particular. This is because the guy is from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, an anime franchise that receives 90% of its gross income from this guy alone. He usually includes all three whenever he makes some kind of self-insert image:

I hope the old guy in the back is his alternate dad

I hope the old guy in the back is his alternate dad

But he will usually focus things more on the character on the right since that is the main fantasy he seems to indulge in. Even without his “alternates,” most of his posting seems to be based around self-insert fantasies:

Just like looking in a mirror...

Just like looking in a mirror...

Whoa, which one is the character!?

Whoa, which one is the character!?

United in spirit...

United in spirit...

A tale of swords and anime, eternally retold...

A tale of swords and anime, eternally retold...

What is this even supposed to be?

What is this even supposed to be?

But... what about Haruhi-chan!?

But... what about Haruhi-chan!?

What is going on with his head there?

What is going on with his head there?

Okay, I’m CONVINCED Kei and I are connected somehow. His body reacts to stress, my chest reacts to stress. No doctors can do anything about us. We’re the same age, both wear glasses and I used to wear my hair like his when I was younger. The building he and Mizuho live in is called Asahina… something-or-other… but the important word is: Asahina! Also, while I was re-watching the second episode today I got a PM asking me where to watch the series, litterally as I was half-way through the episode! Now THAT was spooky! Something is seriously up! I have some kind of connection to this anime and I want to know what it is and why it’s following me everywhere I go! He can’t be another alternate as I think we only have two alternate versions of ourselves, three being the magic number and all that (there being three versions of us in total I mean), so who or what is he and how am I connected to him?! Something is seriously up.

His total obsession for the Haruhi series and the character Haruhi herself is truly staggering. The amount of media he owns of it all must have cost a fortune, especially since he appears to import most of his anime collectibles from America.

It's like I'm really sleeping with Haruhi-chan...

It's like I'm really sleeping with Haruhi-chan...

Son, it's time to get up for-- OH GOD.

Son, it's time to get up for-- OH GOD.

Haruhi'd Out

Haruhi'd Out

My anime princess...

My anime princess...

Gotta read them all!

Gotta read them all!

Just think about how much money this cost.

Just think about how much money this cost.

Think about it.

Think about it.

You’d think a guy that lives, eats, and shits anime would be pretty in touch with the anime fandom, but for some reason he often rants about “weeaboos.” He never actually specifies what a weeaboo is to him, just that they’re bad anime fans while he is a good anime fan. I think it’s kind of like how groups like the KKK would quickly label themselves as “white supremacists,” but would be hard pressed to call themselves racist. This social standing isn’t too great, but he’s not really old enough to take a full nose dive into anime awfulness. He’s 18 and still lives with his parents, which isn’t too unusual, but what mainly strikes me is his general attitude concerning things like jobs:

Well, there was a problem on the Underground so we ended up needing to catch four trains instead of three. We had to que for an hour and a half to get our tickets. Our camera broke the second we got there. We went through “The Curse of Canary Warft” (and no I don’t mean we were attacked by Cybermen). BUT I’VE NEVER HAD SO MUCH FUN!!! (Well, apart from when I went to Disney land and Universal Studios in Florida). There were TONS and I do mean TONS of people there. TOOOOOONNNNNSSSS!!! A lot of them were cosplayers, which was cool but I felt a little left out. They were also giving out free hugs while we were waiting in line. I kept hugging them when I could but my friend just thought it was weird. There was SO much cool stuff there I don’t know where to begin! There were TONS of new video games to play, although we only got on one. They were sellling some REALLY cool stuff, although it was expencive. They even had the Naruto Movie showing, but I didn’t get to watch it for two reasons: 1: We were tied for time (my friend needed to get home by 5PM). 2: My friend wouldn’t be willing to sit through a movie of an anime that he’s never heard of. But we did get to go to a question answer event with two of the stars from Heroes (Jimmy Jean-Louis who plays The Haitian, and Nora Zehetner who plays Eden McCain), which was really cool, I think it may also be shown on the BBC, which is good because one of the guys that asked a question was right by my friend and I. I only wished we weren’t tied for time, I wanted to stay longer.

Overall I had a fun time. I DEFINATLY want to go again. So I’ve desided: First I’m going to get a job. Then once I’ve saved up enough money I’m going to buy a cosplay costume. I’m going to keep that costume clean untill the next event. When the next even comes around I’m buying my ticket online so we don’t have to que up.

Only downside was: I didn’t get to see Ichigo’s voice actor, which is what I really wanted to do.

His only motivation to get a job is so he can buy a cosplay costume for the next anime convention. He isn’t looking for any kind of independence, just more anime shit. He never seems to talk about real life women he’s interested in either, only anime ones.

It’s finally happened… I knew some day it would… I’ve… fallen in LOVE with Ayu Tsukimiya. Seriously, I LOVE her. Seriously, I’m not just saying this because of this whole “I am Yuichi of this dimension” thing, I’m being serious (well… as serious as you can get about loving a fictional character and still drawing the line between sanity and insanity). I haven’t felt this way since Haruhi… FEAR NOT I’M NOT ABANDONING MY HARUHI ANGEL! Haruhi will ALWAYS be my #1 angel, but I think Ayu’s sealed a perminate spot as #2 (or #1.5 if I want to push it). I wish I could explain why I love her, but I really don’t know. She’s childish, she’s naive, she’s clumsy, she’s easily scared, but I LOVE all that about her. She’s also very caring and loving to those close to her, again I LOVE that about her. I :heart: you Ayu Tsukimiya!

But how can he be with his anime loves? Through the magic of anime conventions, of course!

Real subtle there John.

Real subtle there John.

Imagine how he smells.

Imagine how he smells.

That cosplayer seriously looks 3 feet tall.

That cosplayer seriously looks 3 feet tall.

Autism-no-jutsu!

Autism-no-jutsu!

Apparently he fancies himself as something of an artist as well, mainly focusing on making sprite comics and submitting works to Newgrounds. He also used to hand draw some kind of fantasy comic, but he seems to have given up on it. I can’t imagine why.

What is this even supposed to be?

What is this even supposed to be?

What the fuck is this supposed to be?

What the fuck is this supposed to be?

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74 Comments for this entry

  • Kolby

    i too get jobs to buy cosplay costumes

  • James

    he’s everyone on the anime reality all rolled up into one faggot

  • Bill

    I really want to know what exactly he thinks the insult “weeaboo” refers to if not freaks such as himself.

  • DJ Paper Chaos

    Intentional Logical Fallacies

  • Usagi

    Wow. I totally just lost my appetite from reading that. I’ve been to conventions before, and I do like watching anime once in a while, but it’s nothing obsessive. This guy though… seriously needs to get a beat down from his father and realize what a fucking ‘tard he really is.

    In the end, social Darwinism will prevail… and he won’t have children. He’ll just wank himself dry to cartoon chicks, so it’s not like we have to worry about any satanic offspring JUST LIKE HIM.

  • Lucy

    I have more manga than that but omg he hugged my friend at the con D: and i hugged that haruhi i think i need to take an acid bath xDDDD

    And thats the only reason id get a job that and to feed my warcraft habbitoh god i dont sound much better than him but trust me i have a life xD and a real bf!!! who cosplays gaara >_<

  • Karah

    you are a dick!!ONE His name is Jack NOT John!!!!!! TWO hes an anime fan who is actually cool! ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT PISS ME OFF -_-

  • mo

    ho
    ly
    shit
    is it sad to say i know someone who is worse? but instead of anime, canadian cartoons? … yes. even worse than the self insert thing though, she likes to pretend the characters actually love her back, and draws them together, and acts like they’re real… and she does the same thing at cons. ;;; also, lmfaoo o at “I hope the old guy in the back is his alternate dad” that dude is a freaking pedophile murderer from a lawyer game.

  • Ross

    “Second, I’m autistic. I suffer from Asperger’s Syndrome. However, unlike a certain user who shall remain nameless, I don’t use it as an excuse to justify my actions.”

    welp too fuckin late you just did!!!

  • Ryry

    Don’t worry, he’ll be dead soon.

  • Link

    Haha Ryry, don’t waste your time.

    At the risk of being assassinated by some die hard fans… the Haruhi show wasn’t even that good.

    People like this should be dropped in the heart of Africa where they can learn some frugality. Maybe they’ll do some good.

  • this guy's a fuckin idiot xD

    he just fails so SO very hard at life.

  • CalicoVall

    I have been dignosed with Autism at the age of 4 and I am an anime fan. But this, this is rediculus. I mean, HOLY SHIT!!! I never got anything close to this from my folks. I only got 1 volume of Dragon ball, 1 of Rurouni Kenshin and 3 seasons of Bleach (and a copy of the kenshin novel too). And I bought them all with MY OWN MONEY!! XP If my parents ever got me anything like this when I was a kid, my eyes would have glazed over and I would have been higher the the FUCKING HUBBLE!!! Comeing from a guy who HAS Autism and has 2 BROTHERS wit the same thing, I have to say this for my own sake: He’s crazy. O_O

  • CalicoVall

    O_O *scared stiff of zombie* Wait, he’s not a zombie?

  • Sketler..

    O.o I honestly did not have to read this. The fact that such people exist does creep me out a bit. Sadly, I cannot unknow this. For fellow Stumblers I would request that you rate this down for it is to interesting to ignore, yet pointless (and disturbing) to know.

    P.S.
    WTF. Obsession with certain stuffs for autistic people is common, but he might need some professional help.

  • cogs

    “However, unlike a certain user who shall remain nameless, I don’t use it as an excuse to justify my actions.”

    does he mean chris-chan…?

  • RawrChompChomp

    Why do you guys care so much?

  • callmeque

    He’s what the Japanese refer to as ‘okatu.’

    Funny how so many anime fans in America call themselves that name.

  • Paul

    For the love of god… why….

  • Haruhi's Mother

    Lies… Its all Lies, U did not Sleep with Haruhi. Haruhi Likes Kyon not someone that is as fat as you (jk jk jk)

    Anyways, I like ur collection. Its very neat and I am on my way to having those things as well… But there is one thing that I have that you don’t have m8… and thats posters! muhahahah I got posters of Haruhi, Saber, AI and a couple more. Print them off of staples and paid $30-$50/poster which are quite big and are excellent quality… So get some posters and ur things will be more complete

  • Graham

    Asperger’s Syndrome.

  • PIMPIN

    thumbs down. this kid’s a dork and clearly has social issues but he’s got a mild form of autism (probably brought on by vaccines given to him as an infant) and these issues are common for people with aspergers. His life is wholly uninteresting and not worth reading about.

  • Hali

    Wow, you’re kind of a jerk. O_o Yes, he’s addicted in the worst sense, but really? Must you make an entire post dedicated to poking fun at him?

  • velvet

    only fact I want to point out.. is this… he lives his life the way he wishes… but… why on earth did YOU take YOUR time to write all this ? That is sadder to me then this kid.

  • Connor

    …You do realize this guy is joking most of the time right?

    He even stated that this was just a character and he in fact has a good grasp on reality.

    Do some damn research.

  • Chef

    You would think a human being like this would have the sense to hide himself from the world, but I supposed not.

  • Anne

    *sigh* I just laughed at the article above. Obviously, Jack (yes, Jack, not John) is acting. He even says that himself in his deviantART. The fact that an article about him exists and thinks he really is like that in real life is just laughable.

  • Anon

    Other than the Alternates belief, I do not believe this guy is particularily note worthy among anime fans. Yes, he is lame and pathetic, but there are many, many, many more otaku like him. Just spent 30 minutes on /a/. Some otaku are buyfags and like having merchandise, and their parents are willing to feed into their buying obsessions.

    Also, at that age, he probably hasn’t been introduced to a motivating reason to go get a job. He probably has a smaller social network, is very comfortable at home, and…judging by his Aspergers and the resulting obsessive-ess; he is obsessed with his anime, and so that will act as a motivating reason to get a job.

    In short, I think Anime Reality is very naive when it comes to the depth of lameness that Otaku fandom can get to. This guy is pathetic by reallife standards, but, by all of the criticisms given in this post, (Except for the Alternates belief) this guy is hardly anything unusual.

  • Brian

    Because saying you have Aspergers on the internet totally makes it true. There’s no way you could lie about that to cover up your unhealthy obsessions.

  • Richie

    Hey peeps! I’m trollin in a trollin website for anime!

    Gay fags are gay (The Anime Reality)

  • Eyeofgod

    I love how he makes the case that he has Asperger’s Syndrome makes him the way he is, but let me take you:
    I have Asperger’s Syndrome and it doesn’t make you like that. YOU make you like that.
    Also if anyone has been around the anime con scene, there are MUCH worst people out there.

  • Juipbibra

    All the frustration and rage boiling within her poured into the choking bodies around her. Savous sighed, closing his eyes and sinking against the rock wall behind him. Eyrhaens inability to control her gifts has brought about changes that should benefit us all. But the vetriese… Irin paused. Dont put me to sleep. His palm smoothed over her forehead, gently smoothing her hair back from her face. Hyles warm smile displayed his confidence. Im here should you need me, he murmured, folding his legs underneath him. Hyles strong arms tightened about her, and he sat back, pulling her into his lap. Id like it if we could start again. She couldnt do this anymore. They all remained shirtless but wore boots now, and Brevin and Lanthan were lightly armed. I said a lot of things. Oh yes, this was right. She caught sight of Tykir and Brevin kissing behind him, but not much more. She closed her eyes and yawned. You can hardly have all the time in the world for me. Youre not done questioning me. The curl to his lip was resigned. Before he was done, she reached down with her free hand to palm his cock.

  • Falafel

    Reading the comments was more entertaining than the article itself.
    *sits back in chair with tea and a pipe* Do continue.

  • An Cat Dubh

    He’s not the worst. CWC is the worst.

  • WTF

    Its funny to read comments XD when some nameless guy write something, the ones who nolife in this forum insult them or write smth like “shut the fuck up” and so on ;D lolz friendly bastards.

  • Iris

    Okay. Talking shit about someone having an obsession with anime is one thing. But talking shit about someone having Autism isn’t cool.

  • Popo

    LOL at Gant chilling on the cover of his DS game. XD

  • Danielle

    Gah…I feel awful reading this.
    Sure, the guy needs a reality check, but you have to consider other things too.
    Obviously, he’s got a couple mental illnesses. Autism makes it difficult for the victim to cope with reality, understand others thoughts and opinions, etc.
    By the looks of him, he’s probably been teased/ridiculed all his life. Naturally, that’ll make you turn out sort of weird.
    I’d appreciate it if you didn’t poke fun at things like this, but I’m not going to flame or hate or any of that stuff.
    Can’t wait to see all the 3-word insults I get.

  • Eudae

    Oddly enough, this article mentions nothing about Kingdom Hearts.

    WTF, then why is his username KingdomHeartsFrantic?

    And if he’s complaining about American cartoons, why is there a picture of Katara and him?

  • Ellie

    Wow.
    I almost feel bad for this kid.
    Almost.
    Jesus, and I thought using autism to defend yourself was an old thing…
    ~The more you know~

  • Prospector Cheng

    Welp, this feller here just needs some moonshine and a day in the gold mines! Like confucius always say
    ‘he who puts too much shit in one basket will get kicked in the balls for being a dumbass’.

  • Elias Schoville

    I always watch naruto because the story is great and the characters are very cool. ”

    Look at the most popular post on our own blog site
    http://www.prettygoddess.com

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