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Ah, greetings. I go by many names, but I suppose the two names that I go by most often is either Matt or Raosoal. Fewer know me by the latter, so if you don’t understand, please don’t ask. It’s not something that many would believe, and I would prefer not to waste either your or my time by explaining something you may not even accept.

If you’ve even felt completely out of place in the world, out of touch with its people, or like you should have been born in a different age, welcome to my life. In a nutshell. I have donuts and coffee.

If I had to guess, I should either have been born in the Middle Ages or the Sengoku Era, either knight or samurai, when chivalry and Bushido were a more common thing than the rarity it is today. Yes, I, unlike ninety percent of the population, believe in honor.

I am a gentleman to a fault, or a regular “chauvinist pig”(Dresden Files reference here) as my girlfriend tells me. I open doors for girls, pull out chairs for them, stand before they sit down at a table, follow them the correct way up and down the stairs, get their coat and/or other items, carry things for them, and just about anything else there is to do. To put it shortly, I treat them with every respect and courtesy I can. And I never hit them. Ever. I cannot stand any guy that doesn’t do so either. By the way, if a guy hits a girl, my repayment plan in tenfold per hit plus tax.

Yes, I will charge you money for hitting a girl.

As such, I take relationships very seriously. To me, love is the one most important thing in this whole world. To live by, to live with, and to live in. Love. It’s the one thing that can forever bind two people together for an eternity. And that is just my wish. And now, I know I have found it.

I find it very hard to say good things about myself…I guess I’m a humble person, I don’t know. I just hate bragging, because then I feel like an ass, so I am only confident about what I know I can do. Still, I don’t do brag about them. I am an aspiring writer now working on a trilogy of fantasy, romantic, adventure novels. Not to mention the one thousand other ideas I have in my head. I also do a lot of drawing in my spare time, and I’m constantly improving. I’m now the lead vocalist to the progressive metal band Spirit Overtaken, made up of the best groups of guys I’ll ever meet. I never used to be involved in music(I never learned how to play a single instrument), but after spending time with the band, I hope to make my career with them. My singing idol is Fabio Lione of Rhapsody of Fire, and I hope to one day be as good as he is.

I am one of the most sarcastic people you will ever meet, which might be surprising to some, for I am also very reserved. I joke around when I can, and call friends names and tease them(more like roast them alive), but I don’t even mean it most of the time. Some people get confused and say I hate everyone, and nothing could be farther from the truth. Believe you me, when I hate you, you will damn well know it. Ironically, as to oppose my sarcasm, I am probably also one of the most understanding people you will ever meet, so much so that I scare people(I am really empathetic, and I can pretty much read people’s thoughts, emotions, and actions with a single glance). I am very stubborn. I could get shot in the head and I’d kill whoever shot me before I went. And I would die standing up.

I was born a Catholic, but I’ve sort of drifted away from actually being one. I tend to take a stand against organized religions, because there’s a lot of hypocrisy, brainwashing, and other bullshit involved in it. Religion doesn’t teach you how to be a good person; it teaches you how to be a good member of that religion. Which is why I am agnostic. I am, however, deeply spiritual. I just think that it’s enough for God if I am a good person. And many of my moral views parallel Christianity.

I’m a goth. Not a show goth, the ones who only shop at Hot Topic, where a bunch of white and black makeup, dress in all black with Tripps, dye my hair, and have so many piercings that I’d be torn to shreds if someone came up to me with a high-powered magnet. Not that goth. I am the original, old-fashioned goth, the one that scorns the show goths for being utter fools. I’m the one in the long coat, usually classy outfit. The one who understands what it means to be goth.

I am a black belt in Shotokan Karate, and hate the laws that say I can’t beat the living daylights out of someone who really deserves it, and also that I can’t carry around a sword(Guns are dishonorable, I hate them). Yes, I am also a self-trained swordsman in Japanese katana, European hand-and-a-half sword, and Spanish rapier styles of combat. I find myself often wishing I could employ these martial arts against certain people. This happens quite often, because we have a bunch of guys that have superiority complexes and subconsciously worried that someone has a bigger dick than them(sorry for sounding crass, but it’s true). Hence the reason for when people don’t realize that they have fucked with the WRONG person until they’re in a body cast. Sure, I’d like to slaughter every evil, dishonorable bastard out there with a sword. But then, it’s not like I could just tell the cops that ‘Sorry, the battojutsu just kinda slipped’….

And that, my friends, is me.


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5 Comments for this entry

  • James

    that’s some grade A asperger’s he’s got there

  • Daisy

    The end is nigh.
    The world is doomed.

  • Glenn

    ‘Sorry, the battojutsu just kinda slipped’….

  • Ross

    i, too, wish i could carry a ridiculously large sword around town all day!!!

  • Sam

    Haha, Emerald Templar is my new idol.

    “You know, if I had to guess I think that I should have been born in the Middle Ages or Sengoku Era as either or Knight or a Mage… I mean samurai.”

    I am not quite sure why it never clicked for the kids who were excluded from flag football just why they were discriminated against. If you fail at life it usually kicks you square in the cock pretty early on…

    And how could this kid ever believe in any way that he would be remotely athletic enough to kill anyone? “Woops, sorry about that battojustu, I watched Rurouni Kenshin after the age of 5…”

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